Will: Uncle Phil, I got a bad feeling about this one. I mean, I think we should just turn back.
Philip: Will, you said that before we got in the car, when we pulled out of the driveway, when we pulled onto the freeway, when we pulled off the freeway.
Will: Then do it! Come on, Uncle Phil, it's dark, it's raining, and we're lost.
Philip: We are not lost.
Carlton: Will, ye of little faith. Dad knows exactly what he's doing.
Philip: That's right.
Carlton: Do you think anyone would drive by the same tree seven times on purpose?

Hilary: I could kill you.
Jazz: Okay, baby, hurt me.
Hilary: Look, I am not going to let you screw this up for me. Trevor is a wonderful man.
Jazz: But I'm Jazz, the lover of all lovers. I put the "afro" in aphrodisiac. So lose the stiff, and I'll be waiting in the pool house. Oh, and fix yourself up a little.

Philip: Hey, Will, give me the log. That's not why I brought you two up here. Oh, I really blew it. All I wanted to do was spend some time with you before you went off to college.
Will: You know, there was a better way of doing it, Uncle Phil. Perhaps a matinee and a box of Raisinets.
Carlton: Raisinets? I hate Raisinets. Can we get some Goobers?
Philip: It's not the same. Some of the best memories of my life are camping with my father. He taught me how to hunt, fish, how to pitch a tent.
Will: I'm guessing he didn't teach you how to use a compass.
Philip: Now that he's gone I really miss him. I really appreciate what we had together. He was quite a man. I learned so much from him.

Hilary: Hi, guys. I'm doing the morning weather today.
Will: Oh, goody.
Geoffrey: And after that, you're off to join Miss Ashley and Mrs. Banks at the spa for their beauty makeover weekend?
Hilary: Beauty makeover? With this face? I don't think so.

Carlton: Carlton's log. We're somewhere in the galaxy. My father has no idea where.

Carlton: Oh, my God, look! Where's our camping equipment?
Philip: Will, you were supposed to secure everything to the luggage rack.
Will: I did. Oh, wait, this ain't the Volvo.
Carlton: The car phone, we'll call for road service.
Will: Yeah, great idea, Carlton. You can tell them exactly where we are, too. Somewhere in the dark between a rock and a tree.
Female voice: [on the phone] I'm sorry, you are outside the calling area. Please try your call again.
Will: Well, I guess sending for pizza's out.

Hilary: What are we celebrating?
Trevor: An empty house.
Geoffrey: Yoo-hoo!
Trevor: I thought this was your day off.
Geoffrey: Correct, but you overlooked one fact. I have no life. [doorbell rings]
Hilary: Geoffrey, will you get it?
Geoffrey: On my day off? You'd really let me?

Geoffrey: Surprise! [laughs]
Hilary: Jazz, what do you think you're doing?
Jazz: Looking after you, my pet. After all, you're a beautiful, desirable woman. Or you would be if you combed your hair once in a while. And some lipstick wouldn't kill you, either.
Hilary: Look, Jazz, go home. [a noise is heard in the kitchen]
Jazz: Ssh. Stand back. Let a man handle this.
Hilary: No. Jazz.
Jazz: What are you doing here?
Trevor: I'm cooking dinner.
Jazz: Good, I like my steak medium-rare. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to freshen up a bit.

Trevor: What happened to your friend?
Hilary: Don't worry about him. What are you watching?
Trevor: One of those silly sentimental films, formula stuff.
Hilary: Can I watch with you?
Trevor: Sure.
Hilary: But I have to go home in a few minutes.
Trevor: [sings] Memories Like the corners of my mind
[Hilary feeds Trevor some popcorn]
Hilary & Trevor: [sing] Misty water-colored memories Of the way we were
Geoffrey: [sings] Scattered pictures Of the smiles we left behind. [Geoffrey waves at Hilary & Trevor]

Philip: I don't want to alarm either one of you but it's about 20 degrees in here, and it's only going to get worse.
Carlton: Carlton's log. I hate Dad.
Philip: You know, this wood is just too wet to ignite. We need something dry. I'm afraid it's going to have to be something that's near and dear to all of us.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, at least knock him out first.
Philip: I'm talking about the money, Will.
Will: Nuh-uh.
Philip: Will. Do you want to die with $25,000 by your side or do you want to live to see tomorrow?
Will: ... I'm thinking, I'm thinking, all right?
Philip: I'm afraid there's no other choice.
Will: All right, all right, all right. Look, can I just have a few minutes alone with the guys?