Kelso Quote #502
Quote from Kelso in Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?
Kelso: The important thing is, is that I'll be performing a very valuable community service. And plus, I'll be sexy forever. I mean, just think about it.
[fantasy:]
Robber: Nobody move! This is a robbery.
Kelso: [enters] Not in my town, dirtbag.
Woman: Oh, Officer, not only did you perform a valuable community service you'll be sexy forever!
Kelso: All in a day's work, ma'am. Let's get you into something a little more comfortable.
Woman: But I'm already in a bikini.
Kelso: I know. [they kiss]
[reality:]
Eric: Kelso, you do realize you'll have to help ugly people too.
Kelso: Nah-uh. I'll just leave that for the fat cops.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?’ Quotes
Quote from Hyde
Eric: So, Hyde, big job fair tomorrow. Oh, and you're in luck, 'cause I read that corporate America is experiencing a severe shortage of paranoid conspiracy nuts.
Hyde: I'm not a conspiracy nut, okay? My history, shop and gym teachers secretly started that rumor to discredit me.
Quote from Red
Kitty: Where did you learn your parenting skills?
Red: Korea. Kitty, I am right about this.
Kitty: Red, you can't just force people to do what you want.
Red: Oh, see, that's one of those things that people say that's just not true. Like, "There's no place like home." Hell, I can think of a hundred places better than this.
Quote from Eric
Eric: How can Red do this to me? I swear to God, that man is always mad. I think the gene for joy might be stored in hair.
Donna: Well, there are a lot of angry bald men. Yul Brynner in The King and I.
Eric: Yes. Mr. Freeze from Batman. Remember that time Robin foiled his deep freeze-
Donna: Eric. What did we talk about?
Eric: Every time I reference Batman, I owe you a geek dollar.
Donna: Yes. Thank you.