Kelso Quote #651

Quote from Kelso in Who are You?

Kelso: Hey, he tried to get away again so I had to use his stun gun on him. Yeah, it didn't hurt, though. Done it to myself so many times, I barely feel it anymore.
Eric: Okay, just get in the car.
Kelso: You know, you guys can take me to the academy but as soon as you leave, I'm gone.
Eric: All right, Kelso, that's it. I haven't had sex in weeks, Fez is in a drought not seen since the Great Dust Bowl. We are tightly wound. So, you better tell us what your real problem is or we're gonna freaking throttle you.
Fez: I will tear you apart like a lion.
Kelso: Okay, look, I don't wanna tell you guys because I'm afraid you're gonna make fun of me.
Hyde: Oh, Kelso, of course we're gonna make fun of you.
Kelso: All right, fine. You know what, it's like I'm going to a new school, okay? And I'm worried that I'm not gonna be able to make friends. First off, I'm so much better looking than everyone else. I mean, the only reason you guys are friends with me is because you met me before I blossomed.
Hyde: Man, you should be worried about something that could actually happen, like handcuffing yourself to a horse.
Eric: Look, Kelso, here's the thing, you've stolen my stuff and you've burned my stuff. You've even groped my stuff. But I still hang out with you because you are a great guy. Come on, you're Michael Kelso, right? You're bullet-proof.
Kelso: Yeah, man, you're right. I am bullet-proof. All right, let's get going.
Eric: All right. Hey, by the way, you're not actually bullet-proof.

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 ‘Who are You?’ Quotes

Quote from Fez

Eric: Oh, man, I can't believe Donna is serious about this celibacy thing. Fez, how do you cope with not getting any?
Fez: I think you know how I cope. When you don't see me, I'm coping.

Quote from Jackie

Bob: Hey, Jackie, I know since you moved in we agreed to give each other messages as soon as possible and in the spirit of that, your mom called last Tuesday.
Jackie: But, what? No, she couldn't call, she's in Mexico. They don't have phones there.
Donna: Uh, yeah, they do.
Jackie: Why would we give them phones?

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Okay, here. Red. Try this tea. It'll make you feel British. Mum's the word, Governor.
Red: Kitty, this is America. We bomb countries that drink tea.
Kitty: Well, that's because coffee keeps us awake all night, and we wake up in such a bad mood, we have to bomb someone.