Jackie Quote #43
Quote from Jackie in Stolen Car
Jackie: [answers phone] Hello?
Kelso: Jackie! Oh, thank God you're home. I was driving a stolen car and I got arrested.
Jackie: Oh, Michael, this is just like the book Prisoner of Love where Cliff, the rugged yet sweet motorcycle mechanic was thrown into jail. And then his true love, Tasha, was forced to be a slave girl for this really rich, mean guy.
Kelso: Jackie, I'm not kidding around. I'm really in jail.
Jackie: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Kelso: Yeah, I guess. But I'm a little cold. It's lonely in the joint, Jackie.
Jackie: My God. You're really in jail. What if you never get out?
Kelso: That would really suck.
Jackie: Yes, it would, Michael. And I promise the minute you get out of prison, I'm gonna prove my love to you.
Kelso: Cool. Thanks.
Jackie: Michael, do you even know what I'm saying to you?
Kelso: Yeah. No.
Jackie: We're gonna make love, you idiot.
Kelso: All right!
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Stolen Car’ Quotes
Quote from Eric
Eric: Well, uh... Sir, I was pulling out of this parking space. Well, creeping is more like it. I was creeping-
Red: You were screwing around, backed into a hydrant. I can see the paint marks.
Eric: No! And by "no," I mean "exactly." Yeah, but it wasn't my fault, sir. Kelso was giving me a-
Red: A what?
Eric: Kelso was giving me a purple nurple. It's when you grab somebody's nipple through their shirt and twist it really hard until it becomes purple.
Red: Give me the keys.
Eric: Dad, I-
Red: Your driving privileges are suspended until you learn some responsibility.
Eric: Dad, I'm very responsible.
Red: No. No, you're not. Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.
Eric: See, when you say it, though, it just sounds weird.
Quote from Red
Red: Look at this. Here we are sitting down to dinner and Eric's not even home yet.
Kitty: Well, Honey, you took away his car. He has to walk everywhere.
Red: Walking is good for him.
Kitty: Red, why do you have to be so hard on him?
Red: Same reason my old man was hard on me. To prepare me for the world. You know, Kitty, when I was his age I could have parachuted onto a deserted island with nothing but a Swiss army knife, and I would've survived.
Kitty: Well, okay, then we've learned something. No skydiving for Eric.
Red: I'll tell you, Kitty, the world is a tough place. You drop your guard for one second and it'll kick you right in the ass.
Kitty: Well, you're right. Red, the world is hard. So wouldn't it be nice if Eric came home to a place that wasn't?
Red: All right, Kitty, when you win the lottery... you can buy him Disneyland.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: What are we looking at?
Red: That scratch.
Kitty: What scratch?
Red: The scratch that Eric put in the car. I got most of it out with rubbing compound but you should have seen it before. It was a doozy.
Kitty: Well, that must have been quite an accident. Was he killed?
Red: See, that's where his smart mouth comes from. Driver safety is serious business, Kitty.
Kitty: Well, you're right, Red. We should teach him a lesson. So when he comes home, I'll hold him down and you burn him with a cigarette.