Red Quote #638

Quote from Red in Surprise, Surprise

Red: Steven, the store is great. I'm proud of you.
Hyde: Thank you.
Eric: Whoa, Hyde, I want you to really savor this moment. Red's only nice every 75 years. Yeah. He's kind of like the Halley's Comet of compliments. I got one the first time I used the potty and... Yeah, since then, nothing.
Red: What am I supposed to do? Compliment you every time you go to the can?
Eric: See?
Red: All these kids, wasting their money on records. You'd think they could be down at my muffler shop buying mufflers. You're all stupid.

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 ‘Surprise, Surprise’ Quotes

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Thank you for helping me, Mrs. Forman. Steven is gonna love these cookies.
Kitty: Okay, now start by cracking a couple of eggs into the bowl.
Jackie: I can't touch an egg.
Kitty: Why not?
Jackie: 'Cause it came out of a chicken butt.
Kitty: Honey, they wash it.
Jackie: Well, wash it all you want, it still came out of a butt.

Quote from Hyde

Kitty: Excuse me, Mr. Record Store Big Shot, I need some help. Where can I find something by Bette Midler?
Hyde: Well, we don't have any Bette Midler, but may I suggest something even better? Perhaps a little Sex Pistols?
Kitty: Sex Pistols? Well, that's terrible. Guns don't belong in the bedroom.
Hyde: They agree, and a lot of their songs are about just that. And they deliver their message with a smooth, mellow sound.
Kitty: So it's like easy listening.
Hyde: Well, they're not hard to hear.

Quote from Kitty

Donna: Okay. Now, I would like to hear from some pissed-off feminists. You're on the air with Hot Donna. Or, should I say, Hot-under-the-collar Donna.
Kitty: [on line] Donna Pinciotti, you should be ashamed of yourself. Suddenly you think women shouldn't be looked at. Well, I've seen your outfits, Miss Lady Tank Top.
Donna: Mrs. Forman, this isn't about me, it's about society.
Kitty: No, it's about Red, who's been like a second father to you, and now finally he has something to be proud of and you're forcing your weirdo hippie politics on it. It's just a couple of greased-up broads on a Chevy. Get over it!