Red Quote #627
Quote from Red in Mother's Little Helper
Red: Eric. I found this in the garage and I want an explanation.
Eric: Okay, when people write stories and glue the pages together, it forms what we call a book.
Red: I don't want The Joy of Sex polluting my house. The Joy of Sex. What a load of crap.
Hyde: That book's for perverts, Red. You should give it to me so I can sell it to Fez.
Kitty: Red, the book is mine. I put it in the garage so you would find it.
Red: Uh-oh. I'm late for work.
Kitty: No, no, no. I am serious. It's high time you and I put some zip back in the bedroom.
Eric: Eww!
Red: I got a great idea. We'll put a TV in the bedroom, there's your zip.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Mother's Little Helper’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Donna: She chose Fez because he listens when a woman talks instead of staring at her chest. Stop staring at my chest!
Kelso: I'm sorry, look, I've been screwed by Darwinism. I never needed to evolve listening skills, 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Donna: Um, that's not how evolution works.
Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right, but I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Hyde: Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.
Quote from Bob
Bob: Look, Red. You should take Kitty's request for a love life spice up seriously. When Midge wanted to turbo-charge our love life, it was really a symptom of a much deeper marital problem.
Red: Yeah, that you were deviants.
Bob: Deviants? Well, the couple we were dating sure didn't seem to think so.
Quote from Kitty
Eric: So, Mom, in the interest of returning regular meal service to my now shattered life, I'm here to help. So just tell me the problem beneath the dirty, gross problem.
Kitty: Honey, there is none. I just want your father and me to have more adventurous sexual intercourse.
Eric: Well, this is one of those times I'm kind of happy my stomach's empty. Um, look, instead of calling it, uh, sexual inter... [clears throat] Instead of calling it that, why don't we call it, like, a walk in the park?
Kitty: Fine. I want your father and I to have more adventurous walks in the park. I want to walk in the park in the kitchen. [chuckles] Walk in the park on a Tuesday. [chuckles] I even want to walk in the park in the park.
Eric: Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay, Mom. I think you're playing this all wrong. Dad wants you to have a deeper emotional issue. Invent one. He'll give you anything you want to avoid talking about... walks in the park. So think big. You know, I might be able to get you diamonds here. Maybe even a new car. This is like emotional Price is Right, baby. You're in the Showcase.
Kitty: Oh, I also want to walk in the park during The Price is Right. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, God.