Eric Quote #747
Quote from Eric in Baby Don't You Do It
Pastor Dan: Okay, so what brings you to counseling?
Eric: A firm tug on the old ball and chain, if you know what I mean.
Donna: Um, what Eric is trying to say is we wanted to talk to someone about the pitfalls of marriage. And we have some little issues. For example, Eric sometimes likes to talk too much about Star Wars.
Pastor Dan: I understand.
Donna: You do? See, this is great.
Pastor Dan: Yeah, Star Wars is the greatest movie of all time. It's hard not to talk about Star Wars.
Eric: Wow! This is great!
Donna: Oh. Oh, no.
Eric: I can't believe you've seen Star Wars!
Pastor Dan: Well, I like to stay current with pop culture so that I can connect with the youth I counsel. Say, how about that disco?
Eric: Um, disco kind of blows.
Pastor Dan: Oh, I agree. Blow on, disco. Blow on.
Donna: Can we get back to me and Eric, please? Because sometimes I feel like we're racing toward this wedding, and we're not even enjoying it as much as we could be.
Pastor Dan: Hmm, I see. Like in Star Wars, when Luke, much like the two of you, wasn't the pilot of his own future. But he was a great pilot. He used to bull's-eye womp rats...
Pastor Dan & Eric: ...in his T-16 back home!
Eric: [chuckles] I should be marrying you.
Donna: I thought this was a counseling session, not a dork-off.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Baby Don't You Do It’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Okay, fine. I was at the Academy when the auditorium burnt down, but it totally wasn't my fault. See, I got there early to practice with my flare gun 'cause I wanted to show Brooke an actual B for a change.
Fez: Okay, so far, 0% your fault.
Kelso: All right, so I accidentally shot off a flare, and it went all... Like, right underneath the bleachers.
Hyde: Well, we've just jumped up to about 60% your fault.
Kelso: Okay, so then I shot off another flare at the first flare 'cause you know what they say. You've got to fight fire with fire.
Jackie: Yeah, this is now, like, 99% your fault.
Kelso: So then I shot off another flare to warn people about the fire. But that one just went right up and on the roof, and that's when I just got the hell out of there.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: What I don't understand is how you can lie to a pastor in church.
Donna: Well, Mrs. Forman, what about the time you lied to Pastor Dan? You told him your dog ate your bake sale cookies, but you didn't bake them 'cause you were too busy sipping Kahlua and watching that Paul Newman retrospective.
Kitty: I did not lie to Pastor Dan in church. I lied to him at the market, and at the market, he is just a regular man. Now, you two march back to church and tell him the truth. And for your information, Donna, Kahlua is barely a drink. It's like root beer.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Oh, the cousin kiss. The sexiest of all relative kisses. Right above big-breasted aunt and sleepy grandma.
Hyde: Did you just say, "sleepy grandma"? You telling me you kiss your grandma?
Fez: Not my grandma, a grandma. Sick bastard.