Eric Quote #697
Agent Armstrong: Well... Despite a few interesting answers and one recipe... my judgment is that your marriage is legitimate. Congratulations.
Fez: All right, Pepe and I are Americans.
Red: No wonder this country's going in the toilet.
Agent Armstrong: What was that, sir?
Kitty: Nothing. Nothing. He said he has to use the toilet. That's why he's been so quiet.
Agent Armstrong: If you're trying to protect your daughter, don't worry. We never go after the bride, especially such a pretty one. If there was a crime committed, we'd only be interested in this one. So if there's something you want to say, by all means, say it.
Red: Fine, I will. [Fez mouths "I love you"] I just wanted to say... these two kids are married and... very much in love. In fact, I've never seen a love like this.
Fez: Thank you, Mr. Red. It means a lot.
Eric: Hey, what about thanking me? This guy tried to break me. [chuckles] But lucky for you, double-o Forman is rock solid.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘I'm Free’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Kitty: Okay, Red, just because he sat in your chair is no reason to get the boy deported.
Fez: You don't like me because I'm not from here.
Red: This has nothing to do with you being a foreigner. It's about you taking advantage of my daughter like a sneaky foreigner.
Quote from Red
Red: All right, fine, I won't volunteer anything. But if he asks me a direct question, I'm not lying.
Kitty: Oh, you won't have to. I'll do all the talking for you.
Red: Well, you'll be good at that. And I guess it might be fun to just sit back and watch Tarzan here crumble before the full force of the U.S. government.
Fez: Okay, that's it. Anwar I can deal with. Tonto, in the ballpark, but Tarzan... Tarzan is a white guy.
Red: Don't sass me, Tarzan.
Quote from Fez
Fez: [sings] Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream Soapy, soapy, scrubby, scrubby Fez is nice and clean.
Red: What the hell?! [opens shower curtain]
Fez: I don't know what you heard, but this show ain't free. [closes shower curtain]