Tate: You know, you and me, we're the same. Mm-hmm. Overachievers.
Jonah: [chuckles] Yeah.
Tate: Yeah, am I tough? Uh, yeah, but I'm a pharmacist. I have to be tough, or people die. They don't pay me what they pay me to slack off.
Jonah: All right, yeah.
Tate: It's $116,670 a year. [whistles]
Jonah: Oh, wow.
Tate: Yeah, so I'm doing pretty well for myself.
Jonah: Well, listen, uh, if you need anything else you know where to find me.
Tate: Great, so grab some alcohol wipes, bandages, and sterile gauze pads. Bring in the first patient and prep him. Man, we got a long day ahead of us.

Amy: Hey, you know Glenn's not allowed to ask you to put on that accent, right? I mean, I know he's the manager, but it just means he can use the bathroom without asking anyone.
Carmen: No, I know that. I decided on the accent. Oh my God, people love it. [Mexican accent] Hola, senorita, you want to make your day a fiesta?
Woman: Sure. Thank you.
Carmen: See?
Amy: Yep, some people love it, and, uh, and some people might find it offensive.
Carmen: Offensive? Like, who?
Amy: Oh, I don't know... maybe Latino people who would think that you're exploiting your heritage and demeaning yourself.
Carmen: Okay, all right, I don't know who made you Latino police, Amy, but I'm just trying to sell salsa.

Jonah: That's an interesting tattoo. Is that a unicorn?
Man: It's a horse with a railroad spike through his head.
Jonah: I see that now. It's not quite as magical, but...
Man: I think it's clean.
Jonah: Right.
Man: Will you just give me the shot already?
Jonah: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The shot which comes out of this needle. [holds man's wrist] Okay, uh, huh. [taps man's inner elbow] Okay. I think this does something. Should I have a belt?
Man: It's a tiny little needle, all right? Just do it!
Jonah: All right, uh, just, uh, you know, breathe. Or count to ten or something like that. And, uh, and away we go.
[cut to the man whimpering and holding his arm as he runs away:]
Jonah: I'm... I'm really sorry. Drink a lot of water.

Woman: [on tape] Nice work on those spreadsheets, Laquisha. Racism, you hear a lot about it, but what is it, really? Over the next 60 minutes... [employees groan] We are gonna take a journey through time and race.
Garrett: Thanks a lot, guys. When I woke up this morning, I was hoping to learn about racism from a white lady.
Woman: [on tape] No matter how good of a dancer Jerome is...

Woman: [on tape] Here's a riddle for you: what do Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and Nelson Mandela all have in common? Answer: They were all prominent African-American leaders. It's okay to goof around, but you should never...
Jonah: So how long you been a racist?
Amy: Just today. You?
Jonah: Me too. So far it's not really working out for me.
Amy: Hmm.
Woman: [on tape] Because when we look past stereotypes, we learn to appreciate all the colors of the cloud.
Male voice: [on tape] That sounds heavenly.
Woman: Oh, MC Cool Cloud, you are too much. [both chuckle]
Jonah: Too much.

Glenn: I think if there is any takeaway from today, it's this: anyone can be a racist. [looks at Garrett] Anyone.
Amy: Okay, yes, I should not have done that impression, but I want to be clear that I was not being racist. I was making a comment about racism.
Mateo: Well, yes, personally I'm not a fan of racist comments, so...
Amy: No, it's not what... I was exaggerating on purpose to make a point.
Jonah: Parody. She was making a joke about racism.
Amy: Yes!
Dina: Well, are racist jokes okay again?
Glenn: What?
Dina: Okay, uh, did you hear the one about the Jewish bird?
Amy: You know what? Never mind.

Garrett: Ooh, fun fact. The dude that voiced MC Cool Cloud committed suicide in 1994.
Glenn: No. That's terrible.
Dina: That makes sense.

Glenn: Okay, let's get back out there, and, uh, let's remember, "Color blind is"...
All: "Color kind."
Glenn: Thank you.

Amy: Guys, um... this is benefitting a very worthwhile cause. If you like orphans and fire-roasted peppers, you truly couldn't make a better purchase. [sighs] [Mexican accent] Senor Cloud es muy deliciosa. [a man grabs a sample]

Tate: It's amazing, isn't it? Two pills so similar in appearance, but one can save a life and one can destroy it.
Jonah: Look, I think the people are getting impatient.
Tate: Oh, oh, would you look at us? Huh? Gabbing like best friends who hang out, socially, I think. Um, why don't you open up another box of vaccines, and we'll get to work.
Jonah: Okay, where are the other boxes?
Tate: Well, no, the ones you brought in this morning.
Jonah: Oh, those? We're done. We went through those.
Tate: [hyperventilates] Okay. Yeah, okay. Uh, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.
Jonah: You okay?
Tate: Don't panic! Ah! Ah, what'd I tell you? Don't panic, because we... we still have one vaccine left. What I need you to do is go out there and tell everyone that.