Dina Quote #345
Dina: One of you has committed a serious malfeasance, and I'm not talking about Amy's adultery.
Amy: All right, "adultery" is a strong word.
Glenn: Heck yeah it is.
Dina: What I'm talking about is something else. This is a fireable offense.
Glenn: However, we're giving that person one chance. You come forward today, admit what you did, and we will forget everything.
Isaac: Okay, but how do we know if the thing that we did is the thing you're talking about?
Dina: That's why anyone who comes to us today and admits to doing something wrong will be granted full amnesty.
Mateo: How do we know if you tell you something, you're not gonna, you know, call Corporate or the government or something?
Cheyenne: Yeah, sounds like a trap.
Glenn: No, I promise, you will not be punished, I swear on the... on the grave of my father. [dissatisfied murmuring]
Dina: I swear on my birds. [murmurs of agreement]
Jonah: She does love birds.
Superstore Quotes
‘Amnesty’ Quotes
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: There's a hat rule, "not allowed."
Garrett: Okay, we're not just hatting this. There has to be something in-between maiming someone and putting on a fedora.
Cheyenne: "Employees should avoid discussing racial issues, including positive comments such as, 'I for one am proud of this Mexican's achievements.'"
Garrett: Most of this stuff is stuff I don't wanna do or doesn't even apply. "A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee, and her bosom shall be fully covered"?
Cheyenne: That's a rule?
Garrett: Yeah.
Cheyenne: Most days, I don't even wear underwear, mainly 'cause mentioning that gets me free donuts from whoever's working café.
Garrett: Couldn't you just lie about that?
Cheyenne: They would know. I would know.
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Uh-oh, hope I'm not interrupting anything. [rubs finger over back of hand]
Jonah: What is that?
Sandra: Sex.
Amy: No, it's not. I think you mean this.
[Amy and Jonah show an index finger going in and out of a thumb/index finger circle on the other hand]
Sandra: Oh, like this?
Jonah: Yeah, there you go.
Sandra: Oh...
[All three keep making the gesture]
Jonah: This is nice.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: So, I know this may come as a surprise, but I actually got teased a lot in middle school.
Amy: [gasps] No.
Jonah: Yeah, I don't know if it was the rattail or the eighth grade talent show where I did a Bossa Nova rendition of "Material Girl" on alto sax...
Amy: That. It was that.
Jonah: But the moment I stopped fighting it and... and actually just laughed along with them, it wasn't fun for them anymore.
Amy: Mm.
Jonah: They started teasing this fat kid instead, which, long story short, he's a male model now.
Amy: Wow. You're really the hero of that story.
Jonah: I guess so.