Jonah Quote #265

Quote from Jonah in Amnesty

Jonah: So, I know this may come as a surprise, but I actually got teased a lot in middle school.
Amy: [gasps] No.
Jonah: Yeah, I don't know if it was the rattail or the eighth grade talent show where I did a Bossa Nova rendition of "Material Girl" on alto sax...
Amy: That. It was that.
Jonah: But the moment I stopped fighting it and... and actually just laughed along with them, it wasn't fun for them anymore.
Amy: Mm.
Jonah: They started teasing this fat kid instead, which, long story short, he's a male model now.
Amy: Wow. You're really the hero of that story.
Jonah: I guess so.

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 ‘Amnesty’ Quotes

Quote from Sandra

Pastor Craig: And I don't care what you've done. God hates the sin, but he loves the sinner. Example: Sandra... Who is Sandra? Where is, uh... [Sandra meekly raises her hand] All right. Now, Sandra, it... it says here that you wanna kill a coworker named Carol.
Sandra: Yeah.
Pastor Craig: Oh. Oh, Sandra, I understand. When I'm frustrated, I wanna wring someone's neck.
Sandra: Exactly. Wring it hard.
Pastor Craig: So, what do you do? What do you do when that feeling comes over you?
Sandra: Well, I... put on a hoodie that covers my face. Then I take the 47 bus line to a library in a far-away town. Then I open a private browser on one of their computers, and Google how I'm thinking of killing her to see what mistakes people usually make.
Pastor Craig: Jesus.

Quote from Cheyenne

Cheyenne: There's a hat rule, "not allowed."
Garrett: Okay, we're not just hatting this. There has to be something in-between maiming someone and putting on a fedora.
Cheyenne: "Employees should avoid discussing racial issues, including positive comments such as, 'I for one am proud of this Mexican's achievements.'"
Garrett: Most of this stuff is stuff I don't wanna do or doesn't even apply. "A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee, and her bosom shall be fully covered"?
Cheyenne: That's a rule?
Garrett: Yeah.
Cheyenne: Most days, I don't even wear underwear, mainly 'cause mentioning that gets me free donuts from whoever's working café.
Garrett: Couldn't you just lie about that?
Cheyenne: They would know. I would know.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: Uh-oh, hope I'm not interrupting anything. [rubs finger over back of hand]
Jonah: What is that?
Sandra: Sex.
Amy: No, it's not. I think you mean this.
[Amy and Jonah show an index finger going in and out of a thumb/index finger circle on the other hand]
Sandra: Oh, like this?
Jonah: Yeah, there you go.
Sandra: Oh...
[All three keep making the gesture]
Jonah: This is nice.