Jeff Quote #33

Quote from Jeff in Amnesty

Mateo: [on the phone] Chad, it's Mateo. Do... I know I've said some horrible things about you in the comments of your Instagram, but, you know, I can't find Jeff, and I've been calling the office...
Jeff: [walks up] I quit my job.
Mateo: Uh, Chad, I'm gonna call you back. Uh, probably not, actually. [hangs up] Jeff...
Jeff: You wanna get a drink?
Mateo: Sure. Nice shirt.
Jeff: You think? It's the one Matt Damon wore at the end of The Bourne Identity. [chuckles]
Mateo: That's so cool.
Jeff: Right on. I can return it, if you don't like it.


 ‘Amnesty’ Quotes

Quote from Cheyenne

Cheyenne: There's a hat rule, "not allowed."
Garrett: Okay, we're not just hatting this. There has to be something in-between maiming someone and putting on a fedora.
Cheyenne: "Employees should avoid discussing racial issues, including positive comments such as, 'I for one am proud of this Mexican's achievements.'"
Garrett: Most of this stuff is stuff I don't wanna do or doesn't even apply. "A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee, and her bosom shall be fully covered"?
Cheyenne: That's a rule?
Garrett: Yeah.
Cheyenne: Most days, I don't even wear underwear, mainly 'cause mentioning that gets me free donuts from whoever's working café.
Garrett: Couldn't you just lie about that?
Cheyenne: They would know. I would know.

Quote from Sandra

Sandra: Uh-oh, hope I'm not interrupting anything. [rubs finger over back of hand]
Jonah: What is that?
Sandra: Sex.
Amy: No, it's not. I think you mean this.
[Amy and Jonah show an index finger going in and out of a thumb/index finger circle on the other hand]
Sandra: Oh, like this?
Jonah: Yeah, there you go.
Sandra: Oh...
[All three keep making the gesture]
Jonah: This is nice.

Quote from Jonah

Jonah: So, I know this may come as a surprise, but I actually got teased a lot in middle school.
Amy: [gasps] No.
Jonah: Yeah, I don't know if it was the rattail or the eighth grade talent show where I did a Bossa Nova rendition of "Material Girl" on alto sax...
Amy: That. It was that.
Jonah: But the moment I stopped fighting it and... and actually just laughed along with them, it wasn't fun for them anymore.
Amy: Mm.
Jonah: They started teasing this fat kid instead, which, long story short, he's a male model now.
Amy: Wow. You're really the hero of that story.
Jonah: I guess so.