Amy Quote #255
Quote from Amy in Groundhog Dad
Amy: Hey, um, can I ask you a question?
Man: Yeah.
Amy: Would you go out on a date with someone like me?
Man: Oh, I'm married.
Amy: Oh, no, no, no, I'm not asking you out. I just mean, like, theoretically. Like, say your wife died and you're single now.
Man: What? Why would she have died?
Amy: Okay fine, she never existed, or she was abducted. And you're not sad, you're fine. You were looking for a way out, and it led you to me, so on a scale from one to ten, I'm like a eight minimum, right?
Man: Uh, yeah, um, you know what? I, uh, I have a lot of great clothes at home, so I'll just... I'll just wear those before I go out shopping. Thank you.
Superstore Quotes
‘Groundhog Dad’ Quotes
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: So, word on the street is you are horny and looking for love.
Amy: Uh, no, who said that?
Marcus: Let's just say a little dumb bird and her gay friend bird told me.
Amy: Well, turns out you have bad information.
Marcus: Shh, shh, look, here's what we're gonna do. The second our shift ends, we're going to my place, we're getting in my water bed, and we're not leaving till we figure out this whole will they, won't they, Kermit and Miss Piggy thing we got going on.
Amy: Wait, sorry, am I Kermit or...
Marcus: Yeah, 'cause you're smart with skinny legs and I'm Miss Piggy because I'm a star. So, what do you think?
Amy: I just think it might be weird to date someone I work with, so...
Marcus: Okay, fine, then screw it. I will quit right now.
Amy: No.
Marcus: I no longer work here.
Amy: No, no.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: [over PA] Cloud 9's new bath towels are extra fluffy and made from recycled other towels. And here to talk to us about them is famous actor, Al Pacino. How's Hollywood, Al?
Jonah: [normal voice] Oh, uh, these towels are great. Hoo-ah.
Kelly: Are you okay?
Jonah: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm not really feeling it, so...
Kelly: Oh, okay. [gravely voice] If you like towels, then, uh, this is The Godfather of towels. You can use them to clean up your Scarface.
Jonah: That is not good.
Kelly: [gravely voice] These towels are 40% off.
Jonah: No... I mean... [as Al Pacino] These towels are 40% off. And even if it's not a question, you gotta end up here. But then you're down, then you're down here. Because when you were younger, when you were in Serpico... [Kelly laughs] Hoo-ah, I'm just getting warmed up.
Kelly: Al Pacino, everyone. He's back.
Quote from Dina
Dina: This is dumb. If I wanna relax, I fly to Ohio. I don't just sit and do nothing.