Marcus Quote #157
Quote from Marcus in Groundhog Dad
Marcus: So, word on the street is you are horny and looking for love.
Amy: Uh, no, who said that?
Marcus: Let's just say a little dumb bird and her gay friend bird told me.
Amy: Well, turns out you have bad information.
Marcus: Shh, shh, look, here's what we're gonna do. The second our shift ends, we're going to my place, we're getting in my water bed, and we're not leaving till we figure out this whole will they, won't they, Kermit and Miss Piggy thing we got going on.
Amy: Wait, sorry, am I Kermit or...
Marcus: Yeah, 'cause you're smart with skinny legs and I'm Miss Piggy because I'm a star. So, what do you think?
Amy: I just think it might be weird to date someone I work with, so...
Marcus: Okay, fine, then screw it. I will quit right now.
Marcus: I no longer work here.
Amy: No, no.
More Superstore Quotes
‘Groundhog Dad’ Quotes
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: [over PA] Cloud 9's new bath towels are extra fluffy and made from recycled other towels. And here to talk to us about them is famous actor, Al Pacino. How's Hollywood, Al?
Jonah: [normal voice] Oh, uh, these towels are great. Hoo-ah.
Kelly: Are you okay?
Jonah: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm not really feeling it, so...
Kelly: Oh, okay. [gravely voice] If you like towels, then, uh, this is The Godfather of towels. You can use them to clean up your Scarface.
Jonah: That is not good.
Kelly: [gravely voice] These towels are 40% off.
Jonah: No... I mean... [as Al Pacino] These towels are 40% off. And even if it's not a question, you gotta end up here. But then you're down, then you're down here. Because when you were younger, when you were in Serpico... [Kelly laughs] Hoo-ah, I'm just getting warmed up.
Kelly: Al Pacino, everyone. He's back.
Quote from Dina
Dina: This is dumb. If I wanna relax, I fly to Ohio. I don't just sit and do nothing.
Quote from Blizzard
Marcus: I had just deuced in the shower.
Marcus: Okay, right, when you guys are in the shower and you have to go, you just hold it.
Amy: Yes. Yeah. That's what you do when it's a number two.
Marcus: Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet? [Justine gags]
Isaac: Oh, my God.
Marcus: Okay, whatever. Screw you, snowflakes. Bunch of princesses.
Quote from Health Fund
Marcus: You know what, I'm in too. If it is a pyramid scheme, at least I will be on the top ahead of all these suckers.
Jonah: That is sound logic, Marcus.