Glenn Quote #160
Quote from Glenn in Seasonal Help
Glenn: This is the first year that we're having an in-store Santa, so I am taking the selection process very seriously.
Man: Well, I've had a lot of experience.
Glenn: Good.
Man: I've Claused a number of department stores.
Glenn: Okay.
Man: And I-I was trained by Wayne Gunderson.
Glenn: Way...
Man: Uh, he's a Santa Claus at the Chicago Macy's.
Glenn: Oh, wow!
Man: He's a legend.
Glenn: You sound really qualified.
Man: Well... [laughs]
Glenn: Is that it? Is that the laugh?
Man: That's it, yeah. [both laughs]
Glenn: Oh, my God. Oh, wow.
Man: Well, so I have the job?
Glenn: Well, not yet, my fat red friend.
Superstore Quotes
‘Seasonal Help’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Jonah: Yeah, I... I shouldn't gamble. I used to get a little carried away.
Garrett: [British accent] Oh, I'm Jonah. I'm too proper to gamble. Where's me monocle?
Dina: Mm-kay. [Russian accent] Oh, Hi, I'm Jonah. I eat macadamia nuts out of jar inside of other jar. [normal voice] Right?
Garrett: No, what? No, not "right." What was that?
Jonah: Okay, all right, I'll take the... the one with the dermatological...
Garrett: Rashface?
Jonah: Rashface. I'll take one buck on Rashface.
Dina: [Russian accent] Da! One ruble from fur hat for glory of Soviet Union!
Garrett: What are you doing? He's not Russian.
Dina: Yeah, well, he's not British either.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: 20 bucks on Isaac the Ginger Giant.
Garrett: Man, this is intense. I didn't even know we sold dry erase boards this big.
Jonah: Bought it at a different store. Who's next?
Cheyenne: So we just pick one?
Jonah: It's a pari-mutuel betting pool with live odds, no rake, and I'm open to exotic bets, okay? You know, exactas, trifectas, quadrellas, or "quaddies."
Garrett: Or we could all just pick one.
Cheyenne: Pick one, nice.
Jonah: Fine, so whoever's temp quits first takes the pot? Okay, cool. I mean, I... I worked out all the odds, I guess, for nothing. But I had fun doing it, so good times. Who's next?
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: Oh, don't worry. I'll clean that up for you. Ugh, what is the point of these people? They're so bad, they make Jonah look competent.
Jonah: I know.