Glenn Quote #100
Dina: Glenn, you did not tell me you'd be using actual fire.
Glenn: Yes, I did. I put it in my column in the newsletter.
Dina: Nobody reads "Glenn's Corner," okay?
Glenn: Did you read my thing on gluten?
Dina: Absolutely not.
Glenn: Yeah, well, it was good.
Dina: This is a hazard.
Glenn: I got a lot of... How is that a hazard?
Dina: No, the fire, not the gluten.
Glenn: How is that a hazard?
Jonah: Uh, Glenn.
Glenn: No, Myrtle! That's not the cauldron!
Myrtle: Oh.
Glenn: It's okay, it's just a little baby fire! [all exclaiming, screaming] All right, okay, I've got this! I've got this! [fire alarm ringing] Everybody evacuate the store!
Superstore Quotes
‘Olympics’ Quotes
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: It's not like I don't love America. I do. But it's not perfect. You guys are way too into brunch. I wish Asians were allowed to vote. And I... I don't really get the whole basement thing...
Jonah: Hold on. Hold on a second. What are you... What are you talking about?
Mateo: Yeah, I know... it's a democracy. One person, one vote... oh, unless you're Asian-American. Tell me why that is.
Jonah: I don't know that I can. Are you... Mateo, you're an American citizen, right?
Mateo: Oh, just 'cause I'm Asian, I can't be a citizen?
Jonah: No, no, I'm... I'm sorry. It's just that I've read about so many situations where parents bring their kids into the country illegally, and then, you know, they don't even tell them that they're undocumented.
Mateo: Believe me, I have plenty of documents. I went to the green card store personally with my grandmother.
Jonah: The... green card store?
Mateo: Yeah, they sell green cards and knockoff handbags and bootleg Spider-Man DVDs.
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: I wrote "go to Mars."
Amy: That's a great example. Um, I think Missy would say... if you want to go somewhere interesting, then maybe write something like, um...
Jonah: "Go to Disneyland."
Amy: Exactly.
Marcus: Are you insane? It's super expensive. [overlapping agreement]
Amy: Okay, but you think that... never mind.
Quote from Sandra
Dina: What about you? I assume you have no special skills.
Sandra: Um, I have highly superior autobiographical memory. It means I remember everything that happened every day of my life.
Dina: Wow. That must be excruciating. Your life is pathetic.
Sandra: That's exactly what you said the last time I told you. April 8, 2012. Sorry.