Mateo Quote #420
Quote from Mateo in Customer Satisfaction
Mateo: Well, still, it's gonna be, like, the best proposal ever, so...
Jeff: Proposal? Someone getting married?
Mateo: Uh, yeah... Uh, Garrett's proposing. To his girlfriend. Doreen.
Jeff: What? Garrett, why didn't you call me, man?
Garrett: Yeah, sorry. Uh, probably 'cause I've never called you before.
Jeff: Yeah, I know. What's up with that? Anyway, congrats! I have a jeweler you should definitely talk to. He hit me with his car, so he owes me a favor. Let me get you his business card. It's in my attaché. [walks off]
Mateo: Hmm.
Garrett: Dude, what was that?
Mateo: Sorry. But don't you remember when he found out Eric and I were just dating? He flipped out! Also, I'm on a journey of growth and maturity, and I don't need to flaunt my relationship in my ex's face.
Garrett: Yeah.
Mateo: Plus, in my mind, Doreen is super hot. You should see what I'm picturing. It's almost like, "Is she too hot for Garrett?"
Superstore Quotes
‘Customer Satisfaction’ Quotes
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: The key is a personal connection. Customers eat that up, especially moms. You guys get a mom, you send her my way. I'm gonna get you that positive feedback, guaranteed.
Mateo: Ew. You're gonna sleep with all the moms to get a good survey?
Jonah: No! What?
Glenn: Jonah, please. Let's keep it clean.
Dina: Glenn, we actually legally can't tell Jonah who not to sleep with, so if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break.
Jonah: I'm not... F- Fine.
Quote from Cheyenne
Dina: Cheyenne, you can monitor the surveys on the app. If one of our people gets even one bad review, I want you to pull them off the floor as fast as you can.
Cheyenne: And shave them?
Dina: What?
Cheyenne: Like shave their head to shame them so they know they did something bad?
Dina: No, just reassign them to the back.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. It just wasn't clear.
Quote from Jeff
Jeff: Okay, well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback. Especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a "problem child" store.
Glenn: What?
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing.
Dina: Well, yeah, of course it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that. But if you interspersed them with good things we've done or just, you know, random trivia...