Glenn Quote #671
Quote from Glenn in Conspiracy
Glenn: Hey, guys, I need some computer help. I'm trying to email my friend Gary at Cloud 9 corporate, you know, about them making us say, "have a non-heavenly day."
Jonah: Oh, I'm not sure that's what they were going for. I think they're just trying to play it safe, you know, 'cause some people don't believe in Heaven. [awkward silence]
Glenn: Anyway, every time I email him, I keep getting this weird message back from a mailer demon.
Garrett: Oh, that just means a demon ate your friend Gary's soul.
Jonah: What? No, it's mailer-daemon. It means that the email doesn't exist anymore. I'm sure there was a whole bunch of reshuffling at corporate when Zephra took over.
Glenn: So no more Gary, no more Heaven, just more computers and demons.
Superstore Quotes
‘Conspiracy’ Quotes
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: What if we had a big public blowout, you know, and we dropped some major bombs?
Cheyenne: Okay, yeah, what if you come at me like, "I know what you did!"
Mateo: Okay. And then you'd be like, "And I know you were only friends with me to get close to Bo because you're in love with him." [Cheyenne gasps] Do you see how I moved the story forward?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Yours was just like attitude, which is fine.
Cheyenne: Yeah, ooh, and then it could come out that you're Harmonica's real father.
Mateo: So her parents are me and Bo?
Cheyenne: Yeah, imagine how pissed I'd be.
Mateo: Let's not commit to anything just yet, but we should definitely jot some ideas down.
Quote from Dina
Glenn: Hey, Dina, we got a problem at the registers. They're not accepting coupons.
Dina: Didn't you get that email? We're only accepting digital coupons now.
Glenn: What?
Dina: Zephra's just updating things a little.
Glenn: It seems crazy to change something that's working.
Dina: The horse and buggy was working. It seemed crazy to stop using that, but then they developed the car, and... Well, that destroyed the planet. That's a bad example.