Mateo Quote #297
Dan: Well you're clearly qualified and I've always thought you were one of the coolest guys here. You waved at me once, do you remember?
Mateo: Yes, of course. Yeah. I was like... and you were like...
Dan: Yeah, exactly. Yes, right. Well, anyway. You got the job. Can you start today?
Mateo: Yes, definitely! I'd love to.
Dan: Great, I'll show you the ropes. Oh, my God... that's just a figure of speech, you know that, right? There's no ropes.
Mateo: Got that. Uh, don't you need my info, though?
Dan: Oh, whoops! How silly of me. I completely forgot to do any sort of paperwork. [whispers] I didn't really forget. It's because you're undocumented.
Mateo: Oh. So, you know.
Dan: Know what? [winks] Did you see the... the wink I did?
Mateo: Oh, my God. Thank you so much. You really are doing a great thing for me.
Dan: I know. I read this thing online about "white savior complex," and I guess that's me.
Mateo: Did you read the whole thing?
Dan: Wow. Dan, the White Savior. Wow.
Mateo: Wow, yeah.
Superstore Quotes
‘Self-Care’ Quotes
Quote from Justine
Marcus: She is! She's sleeping.
Jonah: Guys, okay, look. She's been working very hard.
Justine: Unlike us? I haven't stopped working since my shift started.
Jonah: Yeah, that's... That's kind of the deal.
Quote from Cheyenne
Jonah: Just a 15 minute power nap. Look, I've recreated your ideal sleep scenario. Okay so warm light, one pillow for your head, one pillow to hug. A laptop cued to the 11 o'clock news...
Cheyenne: Oh, and here's my night guard, in case you need it.
Amy: Um... no, thank you. Guys... I'm the manager of the store. I can't take a nap.
Jonah: Oh, come on. You need to recharge a little. You don't wanna end up collapsing in the store like Glenn.
Cheyenne: Yeah, or, like, falling asleep on the toilet with your underwear around your ankles, so when we find you, it looks like you passed out from pooing too hard, and then every time we look at you we're gonna think, "Oh, my God, that's the lady that pooed so hard she passed out." Is that what you want?
Amy: No, I... I honestly can't say that I want any of that.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Oh, yeah, no, I am fine. In fact, I'm not pre-diabetic anymore.
Dina: You're cured? How's that possible?
Glenn: Oh, no I'm not cured. I'm just completely diabetic now. I bonked out because my body thought that I had too much sugar in my bloodstream. Agree to disagree. But anyway, my doctor says I can manage it all with just a few tweaks to my lifestyle.
Dina: Tweaks? You face plant in the break room and your doctor prescribes tweaks?
Glenn: Not bad, huh? Looks like I picked the right doctor.
Dina: How could he not notice your patchy skin, your weight gain, how your breath smells like a Jolly Rancher no matter what you've just eaten?
Glenn: Hey, Jerusha loves that. Every morning she asks me to breathe into her car.
Dina: Okay... tweaks aren't gonna cut it. You need to do a complete lifestyle overhaul. I carried your baby for nine months and I'm not gonna let her get abandoned the way I did. It's not fun going to a baseball game with your principal or learning how to skip stones from a pamphlet you had to send away for.
Glenn: I am not going to abandon Rose. The Sturgises all live into their 90s. We have kind of a deal... [points to the heavens] Anyway, I'm gonna be fine. Hey, Masoud! Guess who's not pre-diabetic anymore!