Amy Quote #210
Amy: Oh, hey, what sounds more like a real charity, The Mateo Project, or the Liwanag League?
Jonah: This is crazy. We shouldn't have to invent a charity every single time an employee needs money to see a doctor. The Mateo Project.
Amy: Really? I think the Liwanag League.
Jonah: I mean, scrambling to pull money together whenever somebody gets sick? That's... That's inhuman.
Amy: Would love to get people to pony up before we get sick, but planning ahead just really isn't our style. No, you were right, Mateo Project.
Quote from Jonah
Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.
Quote from Amy
Jonah: Wait, no, that's actually a really good idea. If we all contribute a little bit of money every month, we could create our own health fund.
Amy: [gasps] Oh, my God. Jonah. That's amazing.
Amy: You just did it. You... You solved healthcare. I mean... Okay. So many brilliant minds have tried before you and they couldn't, and then here you are...
Jonah: Okay. [walks away]
Amy: Jonah the working class savant with a few business school credits. Jonah, where are you going? Together we could solve immigration.
Quote from Lady Boss
Jonah: It wasn't why I was doing it, but I really tapped into something here. These guys are really freaked out about the acquisition.
Amy: Yeah, everybody's freaked out. It's a freaky time. Just tell 'em to take it down and get back to work.
Jonah: Ah, but that'd kinda just be like a Band-Aid, wouldn't it?
Amy: Yeah, Band-Aids heal things. Why does everybody hate Band-Aids?
Quote from Maternity Leave
Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Amy: Kill yourself!
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!