Mateo Quote #424

Quote from Mateo in Customer Satisfaction

Garrett: Hey, dude, I just got off a 45-minute phone call with Jeff and his jeweler, and they were really judgmental because I don't know the size of Doreen's ring finger.
Mateo: I'm sorry. It's just for one day. Oh, and ring size is easy. You just take a ring they already have, and slip it on to a tapered candle...
Garrett: She's not real! Can't you just come clean and get him off my back?
Mateo: I wish I could, but I think the mature, healthy thing for me to do... is to avoid him.

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 ‘Customer Satisfaction’ Quotes

Quote from Jonah

Jonah: The key is a personal connection. Customers eat that up, especially moms. You guys get a mom, you send her my way. I'm gonna get you that positive feedback, guaranteed.
Mateo: Ew. You're gonna sleep with all the moms to get a good survey?
Jonah: No! What?
Glenn: Jonah, please. Let's keep it clean.
Dina: Glenn, we actually legally can't tell Jonah who not to sleep with, so if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break.
Jonah: I'm not... F- Fine.

Quote from Cheyenne

Dina: Cheyenne, you can monitor the surveys on the app. If one of our people gets even one bad review, I want you to pull them off the floor as fast as you can.
Cheyenne: And shave them?
Dina: What?
Cheyenne: Like shave their head to shame them so they know they did something bad?
Dina: No, just reassign them to the back.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. It just wasn't clear.

Quote from Jeff

Jeff: Okay, well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback. Especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a "problem child" store.
Glenn: What?
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing.
Dina: Well, yeah, of course it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that. But if you interspersed them with good things we've done or just, you know, random trivia...