‘The Wife’
Season 5, Episode 17 - Aired March 17, 1994
Jerry and Meryl (guest star Courteney Cox) pretend to be married to get a discount on dry-cleaning. Elaine can't work out whether a guy at the gym is interested in her or not. Meanwhile, George is seen doing something distasteful in the gym shower.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Jerry, I think that quilt is ready.
Jerry: All right.
Kramer: Well, you gotta pick it up for me!
Jerry: All right, I'll pick it up, but it's the last time I'm doing it!
Kramer: I'm so tired!
Elaine: Boy, you don't look good.
Kramer: Huh? I don't?
Elaine: No, you look pale.
Kramer: Pale? Oh, my God, I gotta meet Anna's parents today.
Quote from Jerry
Marty: [to Jerry] I'm sorry, it's not ready yet. [Kramer bursts in]
Kramer: Not ready? It has to be ready! What kind of a business are you running here?
Marty: Who the hell are you? It's not your quilt.
Jerry: He's a very good friend of mine. He's kind of like an older brother to me and when things don't go right, he kinda takes it personally.
Marty: Well, uh, maybe tomorrow.
Kramer: Maybe.
Jerry: Oh, it's okay, it'll be okay.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: All right, I'm gonna see you later.
Jerry: Where are you going?
Kramer: I gotta meet Anna's parents today, remember? I look terrible! I'm gonna hit the tanning machines.
Jerry: I can't believe you still do that. You know those things are bad for you.
Kramer: Hey, that's how I maintain my glow.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: You're really working up quite a sweat today, huh?
Greg: Yeah. Oh, there's the manager. Good. I think I'm gonna talk to her about that guy, you know, we cannot have people like that in here.
Elaine: Are you sure you want to do that?
Greg: Yeah. He's disgusting! Besides, I'll take any chance I can to talk to her.
Elaine: Oh, you're interested in... in her?
Greg: Very.
Elaine: Ah. You know, uh...I'm engaged. Yep, getting married in fifty years.
Quote from Jerry
Meryl: You son of a bitch!
Jerry: I'm sorry.
Meryl: Who is she? I want to know who she is.
Jerry: It doesn't matter. I want a divorce.
Meryl: A divorce? Oh, so you can marry her and give her the discount?
Jerry: Yes, that's right.
Meryl: What happened to us, Jerry?
Jerry: I'll tell you what happened. We got married.
Meryl: I'm sorry, this is my fault. I pushed it on you.
Jerry: No. I guess I just wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a pretend marriage.
Meryl: Goodbye, Jerry. Oh, I forgot... this is your maple syrup.
Jerry: It's all right, I want you to have it.
Meryl: Okay, thanks.
Jerry: We'll always have...pancakes.
Meryl: Bye, Jerry.
Quote from Kramer
Grandpa: [to Anna] I thought you said you was bringing a white boy home! I don't see a white boy. I see a damn fool!