Jerry: What happened, you didn't give her the papers?
George: No. I did.
Jerry: So?
George: I broke up with her. [Kramer backs out of the room]
Jerry: You what?
George: I broke up with her.
Jerry: I'm being audited! And you broke up with her?
George: It's okay. It's fine. She'll do it. I'm sure she'll still do it.
Jerry: Why will she still do it? She hates you now. People don't do you favors after you dump them.
George: Oh, no. We left on good terms.
Jerry: How is that possible?
George: Because I... Uh, I told her the truth.

Jerry: What happened to the papers?
George: She put them in her pocketbook. I guess she took them with her.
Elaine: Pocketbook or a handbag?
Jerry: Is that relevant? She took them.

Kramer: Yeah, it's a windshield.
Jerry: I can see that. What's it for?
Kramer: I found it on the road.
Jerry: [buzzer sounds; over intercom] Yeah?
Elaine: [over intercom] I just finished working out. Are you busy?
Jerry: Come on up.
Kramer: Can you believe somebody threw this out? You know I'm going to make a coffee table out of this and surprise Tina.
Jerry: Well, wouldn't it be invisible? I mean, what, are you going to just sense it's in front of the couch?
Kramer: Well...

Kramer: I... I saw her naked.
Elaine: He saw me naked. Kramer... saw me naked.
Kramer: Well, you know, it was an accident.
Elaine: Who walks into a woman's bedroom without knocking?! I want to know!
Kramer: I thought it was a closet.
Jerry: Completely naked?
Kramer: Completely naked!

Elaine: What is this?
Kramer: Well, it's a windshield. It's going to be your new coffee table.
Elaine: Ah, I'm going to kill myself on that thing. You can't even see it.
Jerry: You'll sense it.

Jerry: Well, what happened? Was she there?
George: No, no she wasn't.
Jerry: You didn't get my papers?
George: No, I didn't.
Jerry: Well, where is she?
George: A mental institution.

Kramer: My friend Bob Sacamano had shock treatments. But his synapses were so large, it had no effect.

Elaine: Kramer!
Kramer: Hey.
Elaine: Will you please put something on?
Kramer: Uh, you want some leftovers? I made some African food. There's yambalas and, uh, sambusa.

Patrice: Who are you?
George: Oh, this is my friend Jerry.
Patrice: Why are you talking like that? And what do you want?
Jerry: Want, want? What could I possibly want? Uh, I just came because I, I heard so many nice things about you from George.
Patrice: George thinks I'm pretentious.
George: Pretentious? Who isn't pretentious? [chuckles] If everyone who was pretentious was in a mental institution... Uh, obviously this isn't a mental institution.
Patrice: You're just trying to take it all back because you're feeling guilty I'm in here.
George: No, that's not it at all.
Patrice: Don't lie George!
George: I'm not a liar!

Patrice: I know what you said. You can't change that.
George: What I said? I saw stupid things all the time. I can't go two minutes without saying stupid things.
Jerry: It's one stupid thing after another. So let me ask you, when you come to one of these places, what do you bring your pocketbook?
George: You should be the one criticizing me. I, I'm lucky to even know someone like you.
Patrice: You mean that?
George: Of course I mean that. I am incapable of guile.
Jerry: He's never guiled.