Jerry: Nope, the cop says it's my word against his. There's nothing they can do.
Kramer: Let's go get him.
Jerry: Yeah, right.
George: We can't just let him get away with this.
Jerry: Do you realize how crazy he had to be to do something like this? He knew I was gonna know it's missing, and he took it! And of all things to take. I left my watch, tape recorder, stereo. He's crazy.
Kramer: You want to go get him?
Elaine: Well, then, if he's crazy you should just forget it.
George: Forget it? I already called my parents. I told them to expect the surprise of a lifetime. My mother's making her roasted potatoes!

Jerry: Ray.
Ray: Oh, Jerry. I can't believe you asked me about that statue. Do you know how much trouble you could've got me into?
Jerry: Well, I didn't..
Ray: Rava was standing right next to me. I never told her where I got the statue.
George: [to himself] I wonder why.
Jerry: Well, just give it back, and I won't say anything.
Ray: Give it back?
Jerry: Yeah.
Ray: What are you talking about?
Jerry: What are you talking about?
George: [to himself] What is he talking about..
Ray: I'm talking about the statue.
Jerry: Yeah, me too.
Ray: Give it back to whom?
Jerry: Me.
George: [to himself] Yeah, him.
Ray: You?
Jerry: Yeah. Me.
Ray: I'm not getting this.
George: [to himself] You already got it.
Jerry: Ray, I had a statue in my house. You were in my house. And then I saw it in your house.
Ray: What are you saying?
Jerry: What am I saying?
George: [to himself] Take a wild guess.
Ray: Are you saying I stole your statue?
George: [to himself] What a mind.
Jerry: Well, I...
Ray: I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Jerry: I can't believe what I'm hearing.
George: [to himself] I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Ray: For your information, I got that statue at a pawn shop.
George: [to Himself] A pawn shop?
Jerry: A pawn shop?
Ray: Yes. In Chinatown with the money I earned cleaning people's apartments.
George: [to himself] And cleaning them out.
[Jerry elbows George to shut him up]

Jerry: Look, Ray, you were the only person in my house.
Ray: What's behind this? It's Rava, isn't it?
George: [to himself] Again with the Rava.
Ray: You want her.
Jerry: No, she's a little too cheery for me.
Ray: [angrily] She's from Finland, for crying out loud. Finland! Do you understand?!
Jerry: I know Finland. They're neutral.

Ray: Is it me? Do I rub you the wrong way?
Jerry: No, I actually find you quite charming. A bit verbose at times.
George: [mocking] "Oh, I find you so charming" You wuss.
Jerry: [to George] Did you call me a wuss?
Ray: What did you say?
Jerry: I said "luss". I'm at a "luss".

Ray: I would just love to take you down to the shop where I got it.
Jerry: That's not necessary. [George slams his menu down in anger] You know, maybe it's not that bad an idea.
Ray: And I would love to. Nothing would please me more. But, unfortunately, the guy retired and moved to Singapore.
George: [to himself] Singapore?! Do you hear this?
Ray: If you really want, maybe I can contact the guy in Singapore and have him make a photostat of the receipt and send it over.
George: That's it! That's it! I can't take it. I can't take it anymore! You stole the statue! You're a thief! You're a liar!
Jerry: George!
Ray: [to Jerry] Who is this?
George: I'm the judge and the jury, pal. And the verdict is... guilty!
Ray: What's going on here?
George: Guilty!
Ray: Your friend is crazy.
George: Oh, I'm crazy!

Ray: I've got to get going. I have a class.
George: Oh ho! Class, huh? At Columbia? Let me tell you something, pal. I called the registrar's office. I checked you out. They have no record of a Ray Thomas at that school! You liar!
Ray: Well, that's because I'm registered under my full legal name, Raymond Thomas Wochinski. Ray Thomas is my professional name.
George: You mean alias.
Ray: You are starting to make me angry.
George: Well, that was bound to happen.
Ray: [to Jerry] I hope you think about what you've done here today. And if you want to call and apologize, you know where to reach me. [going to leave]
Jerry: Hey, Ray.
Ray: [stops] Yes?
Jerry: How did you get the goop out of the top of the dishwashing liquid? It was like a brand-new nozzle!

Rava: Your notes are very insightful.
Elaine: The book is great. Did you go out last night?
Rava: No. We made love on the floor like two animals. Ray is insatiable.
Elaine: They all are.
Rava: Was Jerry?
Elaine: I can't remember.

Man: Will you put that cigarette out?!
Rava: Maybe I put it out on your face! [to Elaine] It's just like Ray said. You and Jerry are jealous of our love. You're trying to destroy us.
Elaine: Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?

George: [on the phone] Ma, will you stop? It's just a statue! How is it my fault?! It was stolen. I didn't even touch it this time. Okay, fine. I don't see why this should affect to potatoes! Okay. Goodbye. [hangs up] She doesn't react to disappointment very well. Unlike me.
Kramer: I'm not happy about this.
Elaine: Why don't we just throw a Molotov cocktail through their window?
George: There's just no justice. This experience has changed me. It's made me more cynical, more bitter, more jaded.
Jerry: Really?
George: Sure. Why not?

Kramer: I'm not happy about this.
Jerry: Well, perhaps we can take comfort in the knowledge that in the next world, Ray will be the recipient of a much larger and more harsh brand of justice.
George: Yeah, he'll have my parents!