Mickey: Johnny Vigiano went through my locker.
Kramer: Yow.
Mickey: That little bastard! He saw the lifts in my shoes. He knows I'm heightening. This never would have happened if you didn't push me to get those things. I told you.
Kramer: Hey, nobody put a gun to your head.
Mickey: Yeah, well, just keep out of my business you big ape.
Kramer: Who you calling big ape?

Jerry: Why does this guy Johnny have it in for you?
Mickey: Oh, he's always been jealous of me. I always get to stand in for the bigger stars: The Cosby Kids, Ricky Schroder, Macaulay Culkin.
Kramer: [whistles] What's he like, huh?
Mickey: He's a good kid.
Kramer: Yeah?
Jerry: So what does he care if you put lifts in?
Mickey: You don't understand. There's an unwritten code about this kind of thing. I could be ostracized. I remember when I was a kid, some guy tried to heighten. He lost his job, lost his friends, Everything. Oh, I knew I was crazy to try this kind of thing, but I was so desperate. What is this kid taking anyway? Hormones? Steroids? Would you tell me!?

Daphne: George, tomorrow's Sunday. We could sleep late, and get the paper and have breakfast and spend the morning together, go for a long walk, maybe do a little shopping, have lunch...
George: You know what? I don't think I'm going to be able to stay over tonight.
Daphne: Why not?
George: I- I really should go home. Actually, I'm planning on spending the day with my father tomorrow. We're, uh, we're going to a father-son picnic, just the two of us.
Daphne: I thought we were going to spend the day together.
George: Well, Dad's been planning this for such a long time. He bought a new blanket, and he got tha.... that game with foam paddles and the Velcro ball.
Daphne: Have you given any more thought to what we talked about? You know, moving in?
George: Yes. Oh, yes. Very much.
Daphne: Maybe you don't want to move in.
George: No, no, I do. You know it's just...
Daphne: Maybe Al Nechy was right. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with you.
George: No, he's not right. Al Nechy is not right! All right, I'm canceling the father-son picnic. I don't know what he's gonna do with all that potato salad.

George: Come on, get out of here. Daphne's gonna be here any minute.
Jerry: All right, I'm going.
George: You know what I've come to realize? I'm not just bored. I genuinely dislike her.
Jerry: Well, how long you are going to keep this up?
George: Hey, I'll get married if I have to. Al Nechy will think twice before he opens his mouth about me again.
Jerry: You know, George, they are doing wonderful things at mental institutions these days. I'd be happy to set-up a meet and greet.
George: I'm very disappointed to here you talk like that. You still don't know what makes me tick.
Jerry: Yes, I do.

Both: Rock, paper, scissors... match.
Mickey: All right, rock beats paper. [smacks Kramer's hand]
Kramer: I thought paper covered rock?
Mickey: Nah, rock flies right through paper.
Kramer: Well, what beats rock?
Mickey: Nothing beats rock.

Tammy: Look, Mickey, everybody knows that you're heightening. It's all over the set.
Mickey: Wait, wait.
Tammy: Don't touch me. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. All the progress we made over the years and you go and blow it by pulling a stupid stunt like this.
Mickey: Wait a second. Wait a second. You got me all wrong. It was all because of the kid. The kid was growing. He shot up two and a half inches in a month. I would've lost my job. Any one of you would have done the same. You got no right! I'm Mickey Abbott! I stood in for Punky Brewster when all of you was nothing. [points to Kramer] It's all his fault. It was his idea.
Tammy: Come on Johnny, let's go get something to eat.
Mickey: Argh! [looks at Kramer] Argh!
Kramer: Mickey.
[Mickey runs and tackles Kramer]

Jerry: This guy's belching out vitamins..

Fulton: Hey Jerry, good to see you. I could really use a good laugh.
Jerry: Who couldn't.
Fulton: I haven't cracked a smile in months.
Jerry: Oh, don't worry, you'll crack. Cracking's inevitable. First you crac, then you chuckle. That was the motto with the Russians at the siege of Leningrad. First you crack, then you chuckle. [Fulton has a blank expression] You know, because Leningrad when the Nazis attacked, it wasn't a very happy time... because of the war. Famine. Plus it was cold, very cold. They were eating each other. [still nothing] Maybe this isn't a good time for a visit.
Fulton: No, it's a fine time.
Jerry: Oh, all right. Ah well, there's a priest, a minister and a rabbi, and they're all skydiving.

Jerry: So, uh, she's just sitting there and a, uh, Pachyderm... You remember the 'derm. He says, uh, I'm gonna go up to her. So we, uh... He, uh, picks up the two pieces of [wipes his brow] pizza and, uh, the, uh, and then they're steaming hot and they're burning his hands see so he... He's juggling em... He's juggling em. Just throwing them up in the air and just as he gets up to her down they go. [takes a breath) Well, we all just lost it. [Fulton remains stone-faced] It was really, really, funny.

Daphne: George, first let me just say I've never been with a guy who was so committed to commit. I mean, it's so rare in men these days and that's what makes this all the more difficult.
George: Difficult?
Daphne: The other day, after work, some girlfriends and I went to a bar for some drinks and there was this crazy mishap and I wound up meeting someone as a result. George...
George: Oh, please don't.
Daphne: Uh, I'm sorry. I'm afraid the worst of it is it's someone you know. Jerry Persach.
George: Pachyderm?
Daphne: He was carrying these two pieces of pizza...