Jerry: There's only one caveat. The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He's secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.
Elaine: Why? What happens if you don't order right?
Jerry: He yells and you don't get your soup.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Just follow the ordering procedure and you will be fine.
George: All right. All right. Let's- Let's go over that again.
Jerry: All right. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right.

Newman: [panting] Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: What is it?
Newman: Something happened with the Soup Nazi!
Jerry: Wha- What's the matter?
Newman: Elaine's down there causing all kinds of commotion. Somehow she got a hold of his recipes and she says she's gonna drive him out of business! The Soup Nazi said that now that his recipes are out, he's not gonna make anymore soup! He's moving out of the country, moving to Argentina! No more soup, Jerry! No more soup for any of us!
Jerry: Well, where are you going?
Newman: He's giving away what's left! I got to go home and get a big pot!

Jerry: The main thing is to keep the line moving.
George: All right. So, you hold out your money, speak your soup in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive.
Jerry: Right. It's very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.
Elaine: Oh, boy, I'm really scared!
Jerry: Elaine.
Elaine: All right. Jerry, that's enough now about the Soup Nazi.

[George cautiously steps towards the counter and places his money down. After a brief pause, he tentatively gives his order.]
George: Medium turkey chili. [steps to the left]
Jerry: Medium crab bisque. [steps to the left]
George: [to Jerry] I didn't get any bread.
Jerry: Just forget it. Let it go.
George: Um, excuse me, I- I think you forgot my bread.
Soup Nazi: Bread, $2 extra.
George: $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
Soup Nazi: You want bread?
George: Yes, please.
Soup Nazi: $3!
George: What?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you! [snaps fingers]
[The cashier takes George's soup away and returns his money]

George: Good afternoon. One large crab bisque to go. [steps to the left] Bread. Beautiful. [smiles]
Soup Nazi: You're pushing your luck little man.
George: Sorry. Thank you.

Elaine: [steps forward] Hi, there. Um, uh... [drums on the counter] Oh! Oh! Oh! One mulligatawny and, um.... What is that right there? Is that lima bean?
Soup Nazi: Yes.
Elaine: Never been a big fan. [coughing] Um, you know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman. Who-ah! Who-ah! [laughs]
Soup Nazi: Very good. Very good.
Elaine: Well, I --
Soup Nazi: You know something?
Elaine: Hmm?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you!
Elaine: What?
Soup Nazi: Come back one year! Next!

Soup Nazi: All right, now listen to me. You have been a good friend. I have an armoire in my basement. If you want to pick it up, you're welcome to it. So, take it, it's yours.
Kramer: How can I possibly thank you?
Soup Nazi: You are the only one who understands me.
Kramer: You suffer for your soup.
Soup Nazi: Yes. That is right.
Kramer: You demand perfection from yourself, from your soup.
Soup Nazi: How can I tolerate any less from my customer?

Elaine: Hi. You know, Kramer gave me the armoire and it is so beautiful. I mean, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Soup Nazi: You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him in the first place! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces! Now, who wants soup? Next! Speak up!

Soup Nazi: Go on! Leave! Get out!
Woman: But I didn't do anything.
Soup Nazi: Next!
Elaine: Hello. [waves]
Soup Nazi: You. You think you can get soup? Please, you're wasting everyone's time.
Elaine: I don't want soup. I can make my own soup. "5 cups chopped porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, three pounds celery."
Soup Nazi: That is my recipe for wild mushroom.
Elaine: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder, mulligatawny.
Soup Nazi: Mulligatawny?
Elaine: You're through Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you, so you feel like half the work is done already. I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with, like, an IV line of soup that you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo. Everyone just sitting around at dinner with their soup IV just hanging on the hook, there? "How's yours, Grandpa?" "Oh, chunky style."