Store Manager: Is there a problem here?
Kramer: Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Boy: This guy's a Commie. He's spreading propaganda.
Store Manager: Oh, yeah? Well, that's enough, pinko! You're through. The both of you.
Mickey: I got two kids in college.
Kramer: Well, you can't fire me, I'm Santa.
Store Manager: Not anymore. Get your skinny ass out of here.

Mickey: I knew that Commie stuff was going to get us in trouble.
Kramer: Yeah, well I didn't realize that was such a sensitive issue.
Mickey: Communism?! You didn't realize Communism was a sensitive issue? What do you think has been going on in the world for the past 60 years? Wake up and smell the coffee.
Kramer: I guess I screwed up!
Mickey: Oh, you sure did. Big time.

Lois: Would you be able to come all the way downtown again in rush hour to pick me up?
Jerry: Well, I'd have to be Superman to do that, Lois.

Elaine: No, no This is all wrong. Where's the Chicken Cashew?
Lew: You no order Chicken Cashew.
Elaine: No, I didn't order any of this. I'm not paying for this.
Lew: Fine, Benes, we are putting you on our list.
Elaine: What list?
Lew: The "do not deliver" list.
Elaine: Merry Christmas to you!

Elaine: A communist? Don't you think he probably would have told me?
George: Well, does he wear bland, drab, olive colored clothing?
Elaine: Yes. Yes, he does dress a little drab.
George: Huh. He's a communist.

Elaine: So how was work? Another day, another dollar?
Ned: I guess.
Elaine: Oh, well, nothing wrong with that. Gotta make those big bucks. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money... [laughs] Are you a communist?
Ned: Yes, as a matter of fact I am.
Elaine: Oh. Ah. Whoa. A commie. Wow, gee, man, it must be a bummer for you guys, what with the fall of the Soviet empire and everything .
Ned: Yeah, well, we still got China, and Cuba.
Elaine: Yeah, but come on...
Ned: I know it's not the same.
Elaine: Well, you had a good run, what was it 75, 80 years? Wreaking havoc, making everybody nervous.
Ned: Yeah, we had a good run.
Elaine: Well, so enjoy yourself.

Elaine: Well, I'm dating a communist.
Jerry: Wow, a communist. That's something.
Elaine: Yeah, that's pretty cool isn't it?

George: Hey, did I tell you I called one of those girls from the personal ads in The Daily Worker?
Jerry: The Daily Worker has personal ads?
George: And they say appearance is not important.
Jerry: Yours or hers?

George: What's up?
Jerry: Duncan wants to get together with her and me for lunch tomorrow. He obviously wants me to admit I got a head start. And I don't think she believes me.
George: He wants to meet you? I'll tell you what, I'll show up. He doesn't know we're friends. I'll pretend I haven't seen you since High School. I'll back up the story.
Jerry: That's not bad.
George: Not bad? It's gorgeous! [George clinks glasses with Elaine, spilling her drink all over her]

Kramer: Ho, ho, ho. Well, come on, little Princess, tell Santa what you want. Don't be shy.
Mother: [Swedish accent] She doesn't speak English.
Kramer: Oh, Santa speaks the language of all children. A notchie watchie dotchie do. A dotchie cotchie dochie... [the mother takes back her crying child] Mickey, when do we get a break? My lap is killing me.
Mickey: There is no break.
Kramer: This is like a sweat shop.