George: [laughing] Nice shirt. What is this? Is this what you wore on the show?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: What, have you completely lost your mind?
Kramer: Hey.
George: Who's dressing you? You look like a complete idiot. I wouldn't wipe my...
[An aggrieved Leslie stands up and pushes George, sending him hurtling hand-first into a steaming iron]
George: [screams]

Elaine: Well, it got me fired from the benefit committee.
Kramer: You know, all those stores canceled out on her. She's finished. We're finished.
Jerry: Really? What happened?
Kramer: I just can't be with someone whose life is in complete disarray.

Kramer: You know, I still don't understand. Why do you want to move back in with your parents?
George: I don't want to! I'm outta money! I got $714 dollars left in the bank.
Kramer: Well, move in here.
Jerry: What's that?
Kramer: Why doesn't he just move in here?
George: [sarcastic] Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna move in with him. He doesn't even let you use the toilet!
Kramer: You can move in with me, if you want.
George: Thank you.. I, uh.. That might not work out.

Estelle Costanza: Careful. Careful with the suitcases. We just painted.
Kramer: Hello, Mrs. Costanza.
Estelle Costanza: Hello, Kramer. Close the door.
Kramer: Well, I gotta bring in more stuff.
Estelle Costanza: More stuff?!
Kramer: Yeah.
Estelle Costanza: How much is there?!
George: There's more.

Elaine: Okay, well, he had this idea of a pizza place where you make your own pie!
Jerry: Right.
Elaine: You remember that?
Kramer: Yeah, well, that was a good one.
Jerry: Well..
Leslie: [quiet mumble]
Elaine: What's that?
Jerry: Excuse me?
[As Leslie continues to mumble quietly, Jerry and Elaine give up and pretend they can hear her.]

Elaine: Jerry's going to be on the Today show on Friday.
Jerry: Yeah, that's right!
Elaine: Yep.. yep. Um, he's promoting a benefit for Goodwill, you know, they, uh, they clothe the poor, and the homeless.
Jerry: And the indigent.
Elaine: And the indigent, yeah.. I, I do volunteer work for them. I set the whole thing up, and I got Jerry to do it.
[As Leslie talks quietly, once again, Jerry and Elaine can't understand a thing she's saying]
Jerry: Sure.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Woman: Look at what you've done! You spilled my bag!
George: I, I, I.... Here, let me... Let me help you..
Woman: No, no ,no. It's all right.
George: It- It's just that I'm here with my parents, and my mother wants me to take a civil service test. And to tell you the truth, I don't even think I'd pass it.. So..
[As George hands her the last of her items, she starts to admire his hand]
Woman: Hmm..
George: What?
Woman: Your hands.
George: What about them?
Woman: They're quite exquisite!
George: They are?
Woman: Extraordinary! Have you ever done any hand modeling?
George: Hand modeling? [shakes head]
Woman: Here's my card. Why don't you, uh, give me a call?

Kramer: Hey, George!
[As Kramer shakes George's hand, a buzzer goes off shocks him]
George: What are you, crazy?! What are you, crazy?!
Kramer: What?!
George: You could have damaged my hands!
Kramer: But it's just a toy!
Jerry: George has become a hand model.
Kramer: A hand model?
Jerry: Yes.
Kramer: Really? Let me look at them..
George: You can look at them, but do not touch them.
Kramer: Let's see. Oh, those are nice. You know, I've never noticed this before? They're smooth, creamy, delicate, yet... masculine.

Kramer: You're not going to believe what happening with Leslie. You know, ever since you agreed to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show, she's been getting all these orders from boutiques and department stores.
Jerry: Uh-huh. ... Since I said what?
Kramer: Agreed to wear the puffy shirt.
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Kramer: When you said that you'd agree to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show.

Jerry: I agreed to wear this?!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah.
Jerry: But, when did I do that?
Kramer: When we went to dinner the other night.
Jerry: What are you, crazy?
Kramer: What were you talking about when I went to the bathroom?
Jerry: I don't know! I couldn't understand a word she was saying! I was just nodding!
Kramer: There you go.
Jerry: Where I go? You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt on national TV, and I said 'Yes'?!
Kramer: Yes. Yes, you said it!