[George is dragged out of the movie theater by two ushers:]
George: I know they're in there, the three of them, laughing at me. Together, laughing and lying.
User: Let's go pal.
George: They're- They're killing independent George! And they're, they're all in on it! World's are colliding!

Moviefone guy: [knocks] Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare. I know you're in there, Cosmo Kramer, apartment 5B. You're in big trouble now. You've been sealing my business. If you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door, now. Or, please select the number of seconds, you'd like to wait, before I break this door down. Please select now.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'd like to know when Tic-Tac-Toe became the Pound sign, that's what I’d like to know. Why don't they call it what it really is, "Leave your numeric message now and then press Archie's head." And what is that redial button? Let's face it, you're either going to get the person, the machine or they have call waiting. Who is redialing and redialing? This is like the harassment key for people in a fight, you know. "Hey I'm not through-" [click] "You can't do that to me-" [click] "And another thing"- [click]

George: Let me ask you a question. Who would win in a fight between you and me?
Jerry: Well, what do you mean?
George: Well, if you and I ever got into, like a really serious fight you know, and the punches started flying, who do you think would win?
Jerry: Well, I think that's pretty obvious.
George: Yeah. Me too.

Elaine: So, listem, you're not doing anything tomorrow, are you? Because I have an extra ticket to the historical clothing exhibit at the Met.
Jerry: I'm sorry.
Elaine: George?
George: Would I want to see what Mary Todd wore to Lincoln's funeral?
Elaine: There's nobody I can go with. [Kramer enters] You know what. I don't have one female friend left.
Kramer: Oh, no, of course you don't. You're a man's woman. You hate other women, and they hate you.
Elaine: Thank you.

Kramer: Did I tell you I'm getting a new telephone number?
Jerry: How come?
Kramer: Whew, chicks man. Too many chicks know my number.

George: [answers phone] Hello?
Elaine: Hey, George.
George: Hey, Laney. What's going on?
Elaine: Nothing much. Um, can I talk to Susan?
George: [chuckles] Yeah right, hang on. I'll, uh... I'll get her for you. [laughs] Seriously, what's up?
Elaine: No, George really. Can I talk to Susan?
George: Susan, why?
Elaine: Because I want to ask her to lunch and to the Met tomorrow.
George: Oh, I don't think you want to do that.
Elaine: Why not?
George: Well, what would be the point of that?
Elaine: George, are you going to put her on the phone?
George: Where did this come from all of a sudden?
Elaine: George, are you going to let me talk to Susan or not?
George: I really think I should have been consulted about this.

Kramer: You want to sit here?
Jerry: Yeah. Uh, uh, uh. Over there.
Kramer: Why?
Jerry: Little buffer zone.
Kramer: Buffer zone.
Jerry: Thank you. If we were in my apartment and we were watching a movie on the couch, would we sit right next to each other?
Kramer: No. You got a point.
Jerry: All right.

Jerry: Oh hey, there's Ramon. Pretend we're talking.
Kramer: We are talking.
Jerry: Pretend it's interesting.
Kramer: So, uh, then, I had to kill him and, uh, well the police are still looking for me.

Elaine: Well, what about that number Susan B. Anthony wore to the 19th Amendment party. Huh? Ay, ay, ay.
Susan Ross: Oh. Quite the Decolletage for a suffragette.
Elaine: [chuckles] Well, it must have been one hell of a party.