Kramer: Look, I can't say anything. You know, the guy told me the stuff in confidence, I'd be betraying a friend.
Jerry: Well you can't just mention it and then not tell me.
Kramer: All right. I'll tell you but you can't say anything to him.
Jerry: I'm not saying anything, I'm putting it in the vault, I'm locking the vault, it's a vault!
Kramer: He thinks you're a phony.
Jerry: He what?
Kramer: I told you, he thinks you're a phony.
Jerry: A phony? He called me a phony?
Kramer: A big phony. A big one.
Jerry: Why did you tell me that if I can't say anything?!
Kramer: You begged me.

George: Do you hear that?
Elaine: Of course I hear that.
George: You had to move the mirror?
Elaine: I wanted to check out my sunglasses.
George: I went to look in the mirror, it wasn't there. You threw off my equilibrium.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. Blame it on me because you can't drive, George.
George: I can't drive?
Elaine: Yeah.
George: Nobody drives like me. Nobody. I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on. Wanna see me make a right turn from the left lane? Watch this.
Elaine: No, I really don't.
George: And I can make a left turn from the right lane too.
Elaine: I'm sure you could.

George: Look at this guy. Are you crazy, what are you doing?! Hey! Hey, you're stealing my space!
Elaine: George, wait. You don't know who this guy is. People kill for a parking space in this city.
George: No, no, no. He's not getting away with this.
Elaine: George?
George: [gets out of the car] Hey, what are you doing?
Mike: I think I'm parking my car.
George: You can't do that. You can't just sneak in from the back like that.
Mike: I'm not sneaking. I didn't even know you were parking, you were just sitting there three spaces up.
George: Well, if you didn't think I was parking, why did you put it in head first?
Mike: Well, that's the way I park. Anyway, you didn't start backing in until I pulled in.
George: I was in the middle of a conversation.
Mike: Hey, buddy, what can I tell you?
George: The point is I was here first.
Mike: I was closer to this space than you were.
George: But I'm backing in! You can't put it in head first!
Mike: I can if I have room!
George: Are you gonna move the car?
Mike: No, I'm not gonna move the car.
George: Jerk!
Mike: Oh, you're not?
George: Do you believe this guy?

Jerry: Where's George now?
Elaine: Oh, he's out in front of the building. He's arguing with some guy about a parking space.
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Elaine: Look out the window, you'll see.
Jerry: [out the window] Hey, Georgie!
George: Hey!
Jerry: Are you okay?
George: Yeah, I'm fine.
Jerry: Crazy kids, huh?
George: What?
Elaine: Ow! [Jerry looks over] It's my cuticle.

Mike: Is that Jerry? Jerry?!
Jerry: [out the window] Oh, hey Mike.
George What, you know Jerry?
Mike: Yeah, I know Jerry.
George: How do you know him?
Mike: What's the difference?
George: Because I know him too, and probably a lot better than you.
Mike: Well, bully for you. Hey, Jerry! You know your friend here's a real piece of work!
Jerry: I'm coming down.
Mike: Hey, will you tell Kramer I'm outside?
George: What, you know Kramer?!

Mike: Your friend here has some real problems.
George: Me? You see what he did here, you see how he tried to sneak into my space?
Mike: Hey, just 'cause I went in front first doesn't mean I'm sneaking in.
George: You only went in front first 'cause you saw me backing up and you didn't have room to parallel park!
Mike: I only went in front first 'cause I could make it in front first and if you pull out I'll show you!
George: You've got a prayer.
Kramer: I go in front first all the time.
Jerry: Front first, that's how you park when you're pulling a bank job.

Elaine: Kramer? I'm so sorry, really.
George: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Kramer: I'm sorry, I don't care for that sorry.
George: What was wrong with that sorry? It was a good sorry. Jerry, was that a good sorry?
Jerry: It was a so-so sorry.

Elaine: You see, they had to move the cars so the truck could get through, right? But these guys don't trust each other so they got these two nonpartisan drivers to move them.

Jerry: Wild pack of teenagers, huh?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Amazing how they picked you, out of everyone, to terrorize.
Elaine: Yeah. I know, I said to myself, "Why us?" You remember?
George: Uh-huh.
Jerry: Sounds like you did some pretty nifty maneuvering,
George: Well, you know, It's interesting, you know, under that pressure, what you're capable of.
Elaine: Right.
George: I learned a lot about myself.
Jerry: What did you do to my car?!
George: I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror, I got discombobulated.
Elaine: Oh, like you've ever been bobulated.

Jerry: Hey, Matthew.
Matthew: Hi, Jerry. This guy's really a jerk.
Jerry: How you doing?
Matthew: Okay.
Jerry: Hey, how's your father? I hear he's closing his store.
Matthew: What?!
Jerry: Oh, no, nothing.
Matthew: What's happened to daddy? He's going out of business?
Jerry: No, no, no, no.
Matthew: We're not going to have any money? We're out of money?
Jerry: No, of course not. Of course not!
Matthew: Mommy!? Jerry says daddy's closing the store. He's going out of business. We don't have any money?
Mother: Jerry?! What's the matter with you?
Jerry: I didn't--