Uncle Leo: [on the phone] Jerry! It's your Uncle Leo! Hello!
Jerry: Hello, Leo. You don't have to yell.
Uncle Leo: I got your package.
Jerry: How did you get my package?
Uncle Leo: What should I do with it?
Jerry: I don't know what you should do with it.
George: Tell him to open it.
Jerry: I am not going to treat my uncle like a bomb defusing robot.
Uncle Leo: Jerry, your cousin Jeffrey is in a Parks Department Production of The Mikado. I want you to go see it with me.
Jerry: Open the package Leo.
Uncle Leo: Okay. Opening. [a boom is heard over the line]

Elaine: So it wasn't a bomb?
Jerry: No. No bomb.
Elaine: Well, then what?
Jerry: Oh, stupid Leo was using one of those oven cleaners. He left the canister in there and the pilot light was on. The whole thing blew up.
Elaine: But he's okay?
Jerry: Yeah, but the explosion singed off his eyebrows, mustache everything. He's all smooth now. Look's like a seal.

Jerry: Still no luck?
Elaine: Jerry, that was Dr. Zimmerman. I am at the end of the alphabet.
Jerry: There's no Zorn or Zutroff?
Elaine: They're on vacation. Every doctor in this city seems to know who I am.

Kramer: Okay. Yeah, this looks good. I like what you're wearing.
George: I feel fat.
Kramer: No, no. You're stout. The camera loves stoutness. Look, we're not going to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. The key word is tasteful. Now, I want you to relax and have fun because you're a fun guy.

Kramer: [o.s.] You are a lover boy! You are a lover boy!
Jerry: Oh, yeah. This can't miss.

Elaine: [answers phone in the middle of the night] Hello?
Man: Is this Elaine Marie Benes?
Elaine: Yes. Who it this?
Man: We are with the American Medical Association, the AMA. Can you confirm the correct spelling of your last name? Is it B-E-N-E-S?
Elaine: Yeah. What is this all about?
Man: Good bye.
Elaine: Hello, hello.
Man: What?
Elaine: Oh... Uh... Uh...
Man: Get off the line. Were trying to make another call. [Elaine hangs up]

Uncle Leo: Elaine. Hello. What are you doing here?
Elaine: Leo, has the doctor been in yet?
Uncle Leo: No, I am going to ask him about my eyebrows.
Elaine: Okay, listen, Leo. You're hairless, you're scared. When the doctor comes in let me do the talking. Okay.
Dr. Resnick: [enters] Leo, I heard you had a little mishap.
Uncle Leo: It was a fireball.
Elaine: I should have never left him alone.
Dr. Resnick: And who are you?
Elaine: I am his nurse, Paloma.
Uncle Leo: You're not my nurse.
Elaine: He has good days and bad.

Dr. Resnick: What seems to be the problem?
Uncle Leo: Are my eyebrows going to grow back?
Elaine: And he's has a bit of a rash.
Dr. Resnick: Really?
Elaine: Yeah.
Dr. Resnick: Well, there's been a bit of that going around lately. Will you excuse me, Poloma? I just need to get some ointment.
Elaine: I don't like this. It is too easy.
Uncle Leo: Elaine.
Elaine: Shut up! I think he's on to us.
Uncle Leo: Elaine what about my eyebrows?
Elaine: Shh. Here. [draws fake eyebrows on]

[Uncle Leo has the aggressive eyebrows Elaine drew on]
Dr. Resnick: I got your ointment. Where's your nurse?
Uncle Leo: She left. [smiles]
Dr. Resnick: No need to get angry. Calm down.
Uncle Leo: I am calm.
Dr. Resnick: Leo, I don't care for your demeanor.
Uncle Leo: Demeanor?
Dr. Resnick: Oh, now you're just being difficult.
Uncle Leo: What are you writing?

Newman: Not going to play ball, huh? All right. Admit it. That stereo was all ready busted.
Jerry: You can't prove anything.
Newman: Is this or is this not your signature?
Jerry: No, as a matter of fact, it isn't.
Newman: Uncle Leo? This case is closed pending further evidence. [Jerry takes his soda as he leaves] Jerry.