George: Can we go now?
Newman: Not so fast, pretty boy. There is more to this sordid little affair.
[Newman's colleague reveals George's raunchy photograph]
Jerry: Oh, my God!
Newman: This photo clearly indicates your involvement in some ill-conceived mail order pornography ring. As does this one, found in the same disturbing packet.
[The co-worker reveals a saucy photograph of the photo store guy]
George: Oh, my God!
Newman: We have some questions we'd like you to answer.
Jerry: I have some questions of my own.
Sheila: [enters] Hi. One of your mailmen... Oh my god, George!?!
George: Listen, Sheila, it's not what you think. I put my trust into the wrong person. He said the key word was tasteful. [runs after her]
Jerry: The timeless art of seduction.
George: Sheila!

Jerry: I don't like this, Kramer. Will it be much longer?
Clerk: I'm sorry. It looks like the claim has been red flagged. You're under investigation.
Jerry: Investigation?
Newman: Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Newman: Kramer, you might as well run along. Jerry might be a while. Suspicion of mail fraud.
Kramer: Mail fraud? You're in a lot of trouble, buddy.

Kramer: Jerry, what's the matter with your stereo?
Jerry: I don't know. What's the matter with your stereo?
Kramer: I traded it to Lomez for some steaks.

George: Smile.
Jerry: What are you doing?
George: I meet this women, Sheila. She works down at the one hour photo pace. She's got this incredible smile. Like she's got too many teeth or something.
Jerry: Oh, extra teeth. I love that look.

George: Hey, check this out. I go to pick up my pictures and she says " I hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt."
Jerry: What mustard stain?
George: Don't you see. She's looking at my pictures.
Jerry: Why'd you take a picture of a mustard stain?
George: It's got nothing to do with it.
Jerry: I see. She's looking.
George: Yes.

Kramer: Hey, you got to get this thing fixed.
Jerry: They've tried to fix it. It keeps coming back the same.
Kramer: Would you be interested in a refund?
Jerry: Well, I can't a refund. The warranty expired two years ago.
Kramer: Would you be interested?
Jerry: Well, how are you going...
Kramer: Would you?
Jerry: I guess I would.

Doctor: Elaine, you really didn't have to put on the gown.
Elaine: Oh, it's my pleasure. I love these. In fact, I've got one at home. It's perfect when you just want to throw something on.
[The nurse enters and hands the doctor Elaine's chart]
Doctor: All rightly. Let me just review your history before we begin.
Elaine: Where did you get my chart?
Doctor: From your last doctor. It's a standard procedure.
Elaine: You know, I can tell you my whole history. Let's just... [The doctor holds up his index finger]
Doctor: Okay. Let's take a look. Well, that doesn't look too serious. You'll be fine.
Elaine: Please, please. It's really, really itchy.
[The doctor writes something in Elaine's chart]

George: Hey. Check these out. I just picked them up from Sheila. She must have loved these.
Jerry: You don't have a Mercedes.
George: I know. I just sort of leaned on it so it would look like it was mine.
Jerry: The driver seems a little put out.
George: No. He was fine with it. Check that out.
Jerry: Is that Burt Reynolds?
George: Wax Museum.
Jerry: Oh.
George: Oh. What is this?
Jerry: That's a lot of skin.
George: This must be Sheila from the photo place.
Jerry: You can barely see her face.
George: She must have slipped it in here.

George: All right. I will see you boys later.
Jerry: Where are you going?
George: To ask her out.
Kramer: No, no. You're not playing the game.
George: What game?
Kramer: She goes to these lengths to entice you and your only response is, "Gee, I really like your picture. Would you like to go out on a date with me, please?"
George: No good?
Kramer: George, i's the timeless art of seduction. You got to join in the dance. She sends you an enticing photo, you send her one right back.
George: Oh, I don't know.
Kramer: Well, as you know, I've always been something of a photog.
Jerry: Oh, yeah I like this idea.

George: Elaine, have you ever sent a racy photograph of yourself to anyone?
Elaine: Yeah. I sent one to everyone I know. Remember my Christmas card?
George: Oh, right. The nipple. But aside from that, how did you feel about Kramer's work?
Elaine: Actually, I thought he was very professional.
George: So it was a good experience?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. In fact I like the picture so much I cropped out the nipple and am using as my health club ID.
George: Nice.
Elaine: Yeah, it is nice.