Elaine: "Top of the Muffin to you!"? [enters the store]
Mr. Lippman: Top of the muffin to you. Elaine!
Elaine: Mr. Lippman?

Mary Anne: So I notice you don't have much of an accent?
George: Yeah, my parents have it. Sometimes it skips a generation. So I was thinking maybe tonight we could go back to my hotel. I got SpectraVision. First five minutes free.
Mary Anne: Look, George, I'm really enjoying spending time with you but I'm not sure this is going to work out. At some point you're going back to your job at Tyler Chicken and your three-legged dog Willie.
George: Willie. Yeah.
Mary Anne: And I'm still going to be here.
George: Well, what if I told you I'm thinking of moving here?
Mary Anne: [laughs] George, no offense. But this city would eat you alive.

Mary Anne: I can't believe you found something so quickly. How much are you paying?
George: $2300.
Mary Anne: Ouch. A month?
George: Yeah.
Mary Anne: Well, guess that's all right for now, but if you say here more than a few months, you're a real sucker.
George: Yeah. Well, I got lots of other stuff to show you too. Wait till you see the plum job that I landed.
Mary Anne: Yeah. We should let this place air out anyway. It smells like the last tenant had monkeys or something.

Alex: You know, when you make a pizza bagel, you really shouldn't use cinnamon raisin.
Jerry: You also shouldn't use a donut.
[Kramer falls onto the bus]
Kramer: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Peterman Reality Tour...
Tape Player: Turn music off.
Jerry: Can we just go?
Kramer: And go we will.
Man: What is this, a pizza-pound cake?
Kramer: Well, we have a bonus reality stop today. We're going to be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository.
Man #2: We're going to a garbage dump?
Kramer: And we're off.
Jerry: You know, I never though he would be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close.

George: Where are you meeting these women? When they get off the bus at the port authority?
Jerry: Right here, George. In here. [points to his chest] Try opening this up. You'll find the biggest dating scene in the world.
George: Thanks. Thanks a lot.

[As George walks down the street holding the big tourist map of New York in front of him, he inadvertently bumps into people]
Man #1: Try looking up, hayseed.
Man #2: You wanna sight see? Get on a bus.
Mary Anne: Please don't think all New Yorkers are so rude.
George: Well actually I'm...
Mary Anne: I'm Mary Anne. I work for the New York Visitor's Center. Where are you visiting from?
George: [Southern accent] Little Rock, Arkansas.
Mary Anne: Ooh.

Kramer: What's the matter with you?
Jerry: Nothing.
Kramer: No, no, no. Don't give me that. I know you. Something's wrong. What is it? What happened?
Jerry: I did something stupid.
Kramer: What did you do?
Jerry: Well I was shaving. And I noticed an asymmetry in my chest hair. And I was trying to even it out. And the next thing I knew, [high-pithced] gone.
Kramer: Don't you know you're not supposed to poke around down there?
Jerry: Well, women do it.
Kramer: [high-pitched voice] "Well, women do it." Well, I'll tell you what. I'll pick you up a sundress and a parasol and you can just [high-pitched voice] sashay your pretty little self around the town square.

Jerry: You couldn't pay me enough to ride a horse in this city. I mean, it's hard enough to cross the street in a pair of sneakers, let alone six feet in the air on a jittery, glassy-eyed dinosaur.
Alex: How about the beach this weekend?
Jerry: Uh. Well, you couldn't pay me enough to go to the beach on a weekend. I mean it's hard enough...
Alex: All right. All right. Wow, is that a Mexican Hairless? [pets woman's dog] Oh, I love those. Ooh, Hairless. This is where it's at. It's so much smoother and cleaner.
Jerry: Really?

Elaine: Excuse me. Are you eating a muffin top?
Man: Yeah, a muffin-top store just opened up down the street.
Elaine: A muffin-top store?
Man: What did I just say?

Jerry: So get this: We're in the park today, Alex goes wild for this hairless dog.
George: So?
Jerry: So, I figure since she likes one hairless animal why not another.
George: Oh, really. You tell her you shaved it?
Jerry: Are you nuts? I don't want her to think I'm one of those low-rise briefs guys who shaves his chest.