Kramer: Hey.
Teller: Hey.
Kramer: Hey, wait a second. You didn't say hello.
Teller: Yes, I did.
Kramer: No. No, you didn't. Hundred dollars. I get a hundred dollars.
Teller: No. No, I said hello.
Kramer: No. No, you said, "Hey."
Teller: Well, "hey" is "hello". It's the same thing.
Kramer: No, he ad said that the bank's gonna pay a hundred dollars if you are not greeted with a hello
Teller: You're taking that much too literally. Now, sir, do you have any business to transact.
Kramer: No, I want to speak to the manager.
Teller: Well, he's not here right now.
Kramer: Then I'll be back.

Elaine: So I'm not gonna be an usher?
George: No.
Elaine: So I'm nothing? Jerry is best man, Kramer is an usher and I am nothing.
George: Well, Kramer's not an usher anymore.
Kramer: [opens door] What are you talking about?
George: You've been demoted.
Kramer: Why?
George: Because you called her by the wrong name.
Kramer: But she really looks like a Lily.

Elaine: Jerry, Susan says I can't be an usher at he wedding.
Kramer: Yeah. Me neither.
Jerry: Hey, George, I think I want to bring a date to the wedding
George: Who?
Jerry: I just met her. She's incredible.
Elaine: Oh, this is great. Now I'm gonna be stuck at the singles table with all the losers.
Jerry: You can go with Kramer.
Kramer: No, no, no, no, no. Weddings are a great place to meet chicks. I have to be unfettered.

Kramer: All right, all right. Let's get down here. You really want to get out of this thing?
George: Yeah.
Kramer: All right. I got two words for you: prenup.
George: What does that mean?
Kramer: Ask her to sign a prenup.
George: What does that do?
Kramer: Because most women when they're asked to sign a prenup are so offended they back out of the marriage.
George: They are? Elaine?
Elaine: I wouldn't sign one.
George: Prenup, of course.

Kramer: Remember I told you about the bank?
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Yeah, well I went in there and they said, "hey."
Jerry: "Hey" is the same thing as "hello". What do you think, Jeannie?
Jeannie: Yeah, I think it's the same thing.
Kramer: Oh, big surprise.

Jerry: Come on. Something's on your mind. Out with it.
Kramer: I don't like her.
Jerry: What? You don't like her?
Kramer: That's right I don't like. I never liked her from the get-go.
Jerry: What's wrong with her?
Kramer: Everything she thinks, you think. Everything you think, she thinks. No, I can't take it. I can't take it Jerry. It's too much. It's too much!
Jerry: Well, if you can't take her, maybe you can't take me either.
Kramer: So that's how it's going to be?
Jerry: That's how it's gonna be.
Kramer: Oh, God help us!

Manager: Can I help you?
Kramer: Yeah. Uh, I was in here the other day and I went up to that teller and he didn't say hello.
Manager: Then you are entitled to a hundred dollars. That's our policy.
Kramer: Yeah, but he wouldn't give me the money.
Manager: Hmm. Jim, can I see you for a second?
Teller: Uh, yes, can you give me a minute?
Manager: He'll be... right over. [awkward silence]
Kramer: Is this oak?
Manager: I think it's pine.
Kramer: Pine is good.
Manager: Yeah, pine's okay.

Teller: [walks over] You wanted to see me?
Manager: Yeah. Jim, the man here says he came in the other day and you didn't say hello?
Teller: No. No, that's not true. I said "hey." You know, like a friendly greeting, "hey."
Kramer: But that's not "hello."
Manager: That's a tough one.
Kramer: Um-hmm.
Manager: You know what, let me bring some other people in on this. Barbara, Jane, Mike, can I see you please?
Barbara: How you doing?
Jane: What's happening?
Mike: What's up?
Manager: [to Kramer] Can you excuse us for one minute? Just one minute.

Manager: Well, we've discussed this. Here's the feeling. You got a greeting. It starts with an H. How's twenty bucks sound?
Kramer: I'll take it.

Jerry: I would like to propose a toast. Wait a second. George! George Costanza get in here.
Jeannie: Georgie boy.
Jerry: George, big news. I'm getting married!!
George: Married? What?
Jerry: September 21st. First day of Autumn. Leaves changing colors. Beautiful colors...
Jeannie: And all that crap.
Jerry: You see, I kept up my end of the pact.
George: Oh, good for you.
Jerry: Hey, look. Champagne.
George: [weak chuckle]
Jerry: To our future wives!