George: Would you take her out?
Jerry: ... Yes, I would take her out.
George: Oh, you hesitated.
Jerry: What hesitate? I didn't hesitate!
George: No, something's off here, you hesitated.
Jerry: I'm telling you, she's good looking.

George: What about personality?
Jerry: Good personality. Funny. Bright.
George: Smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me.
Jerry: How could she be smarter than you?
George: All right, let's see, let's see. What else. What else. Oh yeah, what does she do?

Cynthia: What does he look like?
Elaine: Pardon?
Cynthia: What does he look like?
Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short. Um, he's stocky.
Cynthia: He's fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?
Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful. He can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head. And, um, what else? What else. Oh, right. Um, well.... He's kind of, just kind of, losing his hair.
Cynthia: He's bald?
Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.
Cynthia: So he will be bald.
Elaine: Yup.

George: Let me ask you this. If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out?
Jerry: Do you want to be able to get it out or do you want to not be able to get it out?
George: I'd like to be able to get it out.
Jerry: I think you'll get it out.
George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.
Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.
George: Is there a pinkish hue?
Jerry: A pinkish hue?
George: Yes, a rosy glow.
Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her eyebrows.
George: Who cares about eyebrows? Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too sweet, you could throw up from that.
Jerry: I don't think you'll throw up. She likes to throw up.

George: So, what did she say?
Elaine: She said you're getting together Saturday night!
George: That's it?
Elaine: Yeah!
George: She didn't mention anything about the conversation?
Elaine: No.
George: Well, you see, I don't get that. We had a relaxed, stimulating, great conversation, she doesn't mention it? Why doesn't she mention it?
Elaine: What?
Jerry: She could have mentioned the conversation.
George: All right, all right, I'll go on the date, but that's that.

Jerry: [on the phone] Yeah, go ahead.
George: All right look, I'm gonna tell you, but I made a pact with Cynthia, we swore we were not going to tell you and Elaine.
Jerry: You can tell me, I'll vault it.
George: It's in the vault?
Jerry: I'm locking the vault. What? What?
George: We had sex.
Jerry: Oh, my God. You had sex? How did that happen?
George: I don't know. I closed my eyes and made a move.
Jerry: At your apartment?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: She didn't stay over?
George: No, she left. Listen, you can't mention any of this to Elaine. Cynthia will kill me, we made a deal.

Elaine: [on the phone] Oh, my God.
Cynthia: He was uncomfortable because it was our first time so he felt he would perform better if we did it in the kitchen. He said the kitchen is always the most sociable room in the house. And he was serious.
Elaine: So? How was it?
Cynthia: How good could it be? My head was on a hot plate.

Jerry: [on the phone] So, what did she have to say?
Elaine: What did he have to say?
Jerry: He said they had a good time.
Elaine: Her too.
Jerry: Oh, good.
Elaine: Anything else?
Jerry: Nope. You?
Elaine: Nope.
Jerry: You sure?
Elaine: Yup. You?
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: All right. Well uh, guess everything is under control.
Jerry: Yeah. Okay then.
Elaine: All right. Goodnight.
Jerry: Goodnight.

George: I left three messages. I can't believe this woman. She has sex with me, leaves ten minutes later then I never hear from her again. What kind of a person does this? I mean, she used me. I feel cheap and violated.
Jerry: Well, I'm gonna do something about this.
George: Oh, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: Never mind. Disgraceful. Leaves you sitting there on the kitchen floor like some kind of roach trap. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Sir, whatever. She's not going to get away with this.
George: I keep racking my brain to try and figure out what I did. I was smart, I was funny, I made great small talk with the waitress so she could see I could relate to the commoners. You know, I'm a man of the people.

Kramer: Hey, hey, hey! I don't want to hear another word out of either one of you!
George: But tell him to give me the-
Kramer: Ay, ay, ay! The next one of you that opens up your mouth, says something, you're gonna have to deal with me. You know, I bet I know what this is about. It's about a woman, isn't it?
George: No.
Jerry: Yeah, but--
Kramer: Yeah, yeah! You see, this is exactly what they want to do to you. They play one against the other. You can't let them manipulate you like that.
Jerry: But Kramer--
Kramer: Nah, nah, nah! I want you guys to shake hands. Come on, there are plenty of women out there for all of us, let's go.
Kramer: Yes. You see? Isn't that better than fighting? Animosity? I mean, you wanna fight with somebody, you fight with me.