Jerry: That's the last babka. They got the last babka.
Elaine: I know. They're going in first with the last babka.
Jerry: That was our babka.
Elaine: You can't beat a babka.
Jerry: We should have had that babka.
Elaine: They're going to be heroes.
Jerry: What are we going to do now? If we can't get the babka the whole thing's useless.

Kramer: Hey, anybody got change for a hundred?
George: Are you crazy? What are you doing? You'll get us killed.
Kramer: What?
George: Don't go shouting we got a hundred dollar bill. People will be jumping out of windows after us.
Kramer: Okay. Let's go buy something. Then we'll get some change.
George: I am not buying something just to get change.
Kramer: George, there's a newsstand right over there. Now come on.

Kramer: Let's get some gum or something.
George: Pack of gum, okay here you go.
Clerk: What, it's a hundred? I can't change a hundred.
George: Why not?
Clerk: You got to buy more than that.
Kramer: Here, get a newspaper.
George: A newspaper.
Clerk: That's not enough.
Kramer: A Clark Bar. [eats a portion]
George: Clark Bar.
Clerk: Keep going.
George: I'm up to $2 here!

Kramer: George, George, get a Penthouse Forum.
George: I'm not getting a Penthouse Forum.
Kramer: No, that will make great dinner party conversation. We'll read the letters at the dinner table.
George: Oh, that's nice.
Kramer: Hey, did you ever read one of these?
George: It's not real. They're all made up.
Kramer: Oh, it's real.
George: You know, then there is an unusual number of people in this country having sex with amputees!

[George bumps into a Middle-Eastern man who is looking at the newsstand]
Man: [yells in Arabic] Big coat! Big coat!
George: Sorry, it's a new coat. It's Gore-Tex.
Kramer: You better be careful with that thing. You'll start a war.

Elaine: Excuse me.
Man: Hey, hey. I'm on line here.
Elaine: No, no, we just bought this. Um, you sold us a cake with a hair on it.
Clerk: You have to take a number.
Elaine: We waited fifteen minutes for this. Oh. [loudly] You sell me a cake with a hair on it? Then you want me to wait?

Kramer: "I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true… A weeks days ago my girlfriend happened to mention to me how attractive she thought our new neighbor Linda was…"
George: Look at this? Somebody double parked and blocked us in. Does anybody know whose car that is? Maybe there's a note on it. No, no note. Can you believe this?
Kramer: "…Well, of course I noticed it too, with those ample breasts and those pouty lips. I don't have to tell you she was a knock out…."

Kramer: Are those shoes comfortable?
George: No, not really.
Kramer: They look comfortable.
George: I know. That's why I bought them, but they're not comfortable.

Kramer: Let's go inside the liquor store. It's freezing in here.
George: Why didn't you wear a heavier coat?
Kramer: Because I wanted to look good for the party.

George: Hey. Hey, that's great! That's very nice. We've been waiting twenty minutes for you people? What do you think, you're Mussolini?
Man: Back off, puff ball, it's not my car!
George: [sheepishly] I wasn't talking to you.