Estelle Costanza: I want you to go see a psychiatrist.
George: No! I am not going to see a psychiatrist!
Estelle Costanza: Why? Why not?! Why won't you go?
George: Because I don't want to.
Estelle Costanza: I want you to go see somebody.
George: Well, I am not going.
Estelle Costanza: It's a good thing your father's in Chicago.

Jerry: Let me ask you a question.
Elaine: Mm-hm.
Jerry: You're a hostage, captured by terrorists.
Elaine: Who, me?
Jerry: You, anybody, whatever. You're in the little room, you're chained to the floor, you're there for a long time.. do you think they would ever consider doing the laundry?
Elaine: They have to, it's in the Geneva Convention.
Kramer: [foreign accent] You! Take off your socks, your pants, your underwear. We're doing the wash. Come on! Take it off, take it off!

George: All right, look, you want to be in?
Elaine: Yeah!
George: You gotta give us odds. At least two to one. You gotta put up two-hundred dollars.
Kramer: No, a thousand!
Elaine: No, I'll- I'll put up one-fifty.
George: All right, you're in for one-fifty.

Kramer: Hey, look at this, come here. There's a naked woman across the street.
Jerry: Where?
Kramer: Second floor from the top. See the window on the left?
George: Wow!
Jerry: Who walks around the house like that?!
George: Maybe she's a nudist. You know, those nudist colony people.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah.
[Kramer walks away from the window and goes back to his apartment.]

[Kramer casually enters the apartment, walks over to the kitchen counter and slaps some money down]
Kramer: I'm out!
Elaine: What?!
Kramer: Yeah, I'm out. I'm out of the contest.
George: You're out?!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. What?
Elaine: Well, that was fast!
Kramer: Well, it was that woman across the street. [to Jerry] You know, you better be careful, buddy. She's gonna get you next.

Marla: Let's slow it down a little.
Jerry: "Slow it down"?
Marla: Well, you know...
Jerry: Ah, yeah... I know.
Marla: You're okay with that, right?
Jerry: Yeah, yeah.. of course. What, do you think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am? That doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care about that.
Marla: So, I'll see you Saturday night, then?
Jerry: Sure, Saturday night.
Marla: All right, then. Good night.
Jerry: Goodnight. [she gets out] Not just a good night. A great night.

Jerry: [on the phone] All right, Ma, I'll talk to you later. Nothing, I'm- I'm watching, uh, Tiny Toons here, on Nickelodeon.. It's, I-I like kid shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality. Okay, all right, I'll talk to you later. Bye. [hangs up]

Marla: Let's go in the bedroom.
Jerry: Really?
Marla: Yes.
Jerry: You sure?
Marla: Yes.
Jerry: You really want to?
Marla: I do. I'm ready.
Jerry: Okay.
Marla: I know how difficult this must have been for you.
Jerry: [chuckles] You don't know the half of it.
Marla: What do you mean?
Jerry: Well, it's kinda silly, but..

Marla: Contest?! A contest! This is what you do with your friends?
Jerry: No, it was just a bet. I mean, it actually started with George and his mother.
Marla: I don't want to hear another word. And to think how close I came to you being the one! I must have been out of my mind.
[After Marla storms out, Jerry walks over to the window and takes a seat.]

Elaine: Marla? Hi, oh, I'm glad I ran into you.
Marla: I don't want to have anything to do with you or your perverted friends. [Elaine moves closer] Ooh, get away from me! You're horrible. Horrible! All of you!