Elliot Quote #440

Quote from Elliot in His Story III

Carla: Elliot?
Elliot: You're wasting your time. You know how interns stick together. They're never going to rat each other out.
Elliot: What you're forgetting, Carla, is that I am sleeping with one of those interns. Now, seeing as I've already gotten Keith to pee sitting down so there's absolutely no chance of seat splatter, I'm betting that I'll probably be able to get him to talk. Keith! Meet me in the caf in half an hour.

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 ‘His Story III’ Quotes

Quote from Carla

Carla: Keith, you better not tell her who did it.
Keith: But Elliot scares me.
Carla: Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut. I am an underpaid pregnant nurse from the block, who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier. Now, who are you really afraid of?
Keith: The fatty.
Carla: Be careful, Keith.

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: [singing] Drill-fork It can drill and fork Mostly fork.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: You're black? 'cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond, and you damn sure act like a black guy. And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys. Now, please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP. I mean, if you don't know what stands for, that is the National Association For The Advancement Of Colored People. And quite frankly, I always thought they should change the "Colored People" to "African-Americans." But then of course it wouldn't be the NAACP, it would be the "N quad A," or NAAAA. And I know this probably sounds like a digression, but it actually leads me back to my original point: Do I think you're black? Nah.