Janitor Quote #230
Quote from Janitor in My Rite of Passage
J.D.: If it wasn't funny, why did they all laugh?
Janitor: Wake up and smell the third-floor urinal I haven't cleaned in four years! Everybody kisses the ass of the person above them.
Dr. Kelso: I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart. [Dr. Johnson laughs]
Dr. Johnson: I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-Freud. [Nurse Roberts laughs]
Nurse Roberts: I was gonna be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients. [cafeteria lady laughs]
Cafeteria Lady: I was gonna be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough. [homeless man laughs]
Homeless man: That's funny. You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was fowl! [dog barks] I know.
Janitor: You get it now? Your relationship with your interns is a sham.
J.D.: That dog just laughed at a pun.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Rite of Passage’ Quotes
Quote from Jordan
Jordan: I am your new friend, so suck it!
J.D.: I gotta go talk to my boys.
Carla: And I have to go talk to Elliot.
Turk: Wait, don't leave me!
Jordan: So I hear you and the wife are trying for a boy. Little tip: The night that Perry and I conceived Jack, he was on top, it was about three days before my ovulation... Yeah. Oh, and he was choking me. Oh, it was so good.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Oh, would everyone please watch this? Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy. He leads off with the chin quiver. Then he goes right to the look-away. He tries to hold it back but he just can't because there's too much pain! And then finally, he squeezes out one single tear. [fake cries] Ladies and gentlemen, that is some quality Crack Addict Theater!
Turk: I can't watch this.
Nurse Roberts: Then move your big, bald biscuit head! Some of us don't have cable.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Hey, Turk, I'm gonna go across the street and get some coffee. You want one?
Turk: Get me a small one-pump mocha.
J.D.: [v.o.] The perfect setup to a joke, but no one's around to hear!
[J.D. picks Turk up and carries him down to reception]
Turk: Dude! Oh, God! [screams] No! Dude!
J.D.: So, what did you want me to get you?
Turk: A small one-pump mocha?
J.D.: Wasn't that your nickname in high school? Hello!
Turk: Dude, there's a guy upstairs waiting to have his spleen removed!
J.D.: It was worth it.