Todd Quote #60
Todd: Hot Doc, 3 o'clock. I mean 5 o'clock. Over there.
Turk: Todd. Todd, let's get off on the right foot.
Dr. Miller: Hey, it might just be 'cause my expectations are low, but you guys did not suck in surgery yesterday.
Todd: Well, as long as your expectations are low, maybe we should have sex.
Dr. Miller: I'm concerned about you. I think you hold us women responsible for the fact that your mommy didn't pay attention to you, and if you don't get help, you'll eventually start picking up prostitutes and killing them.
Elliot: I've always wanted to say that to him!
Dr. Miller: Well, now you don't have to. Ha-ha-ha.
Todd: She just talked to me like I'm an idiot.
Turk: Hot chick, 12 o'clock.
[Todd looks up at the ceiling]
Quote from Nurse Roberts
J.D.: [v.o.] Dr. Kelso was having a little female trouble of his own.
Carla: Dr. Kelso, the sexual harassment around here has gotten out of control. Yesterday somebody asked Laverne if her boobs were made for walking. It's rude. And it makes no sense.
Nurse Roberts: Paris and Nikki were not amused.
Carla: You named your breasts after the Hilton sisters?
Nurse Roberts: Other way around, sugar!
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: So, uh, Jordan seems to be doing pretty well.
Dr. Cox: You know Jordan, she is a rock.
J.D.: How 'bout you? How you holding up? [Dr. Cox is silent] I know it's been kind of tough with Ben dying. Are you gonna talk ever?
Dr. Cox: Let me go ahead and tee this up for you, there, Anneka. We are all going to die someday. For the lucky few of us it'll be nice and fast. But for most of us it'll be just as long and slow and painful as a conversation with you.
J.D.: That's a beautiful sentiment.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Seriously, how are you?
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God. Look, Abby, I didn't write to you asking for help. So, if you continue on down this road, you're going to end up eating, breathing, and relieving yourself through a tube of some kind. Signed, "Dealing With It On His Own" in Kansas.
J.D.: I wrote Dear Abby once in seventh grade 'cause I didn't have body hair like the other guys? By the time her response came out in Parade magazine, it was like a forest down there. Well, you know, "nothing ventured"...
Dr. Cox: I'm looking for streamers and- and a marching band, because this will be the ceremonial one-millionth time I've had to shake off something that you've said. [shakes head]
Quote from My First Step
Todd: Speaking of things that are perfectly fine... That was a compliment. Why won't any women talk to me?
Nurse: Because you're slimy and turn everything into a double entendre.
Todd: Not true.
Turk: Go ahead.
Todd: I'd like to double her entendre. Please. [Todd and Turk high-five]
Quote from My Sacrificial Clam
Todd: Push it out. Two more. Come on, kid. Bitchin' reps.
Dr. Cox: A dumb-ass says what?
Dr. Cox: I said, "A dumb-ass says what?"
Quote from My Roommates
J.D.: Thanks for letting us crash here, man.
Todd: The Todd's not accustomed to receiving gentleman callers.
J.D.: Okay. Oh, cool picture. Which one of those guys is you?
Todd: Oh, I don't swim. So there's only one rule if you're gonna stay at "El Casa de Todd". You got to hammock up.
J.D.: Oh, I don't have one of those, Todd.
Todd: No problem. What are you, about a medium?
Todd: This will work. And it'll look good, too.