Ted Quote #28

Quote from Ted in My Philosophy

Elliot: Plus, according to county statute, all medical facilities are required to provide single-sex bathrooms and changing rooms. Put that in your suggestion box and smoke it.
Dr. Kelso: Dammit! Where'd she learn all that legal mumbo-jumbo?
Ted: [whistles badly]
Dr. Kelso: What are you doing, Ted?
Ted: I'm trying to whistle. You know, so you wouldn't think it was me.

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 ‘My Philosophy’ Quotes

Quote from Turk

Turk: All right, Ralphie, new tack. I want you to do what I do. I want you to imagine that there are tiny men inside your booty, trying to push the dookie. Push the dookie out, Ralphie. Can you imagine that for me?
[later:]
Man: You told my son there were little men inside him? He barely sleeps as it is.
Turk: Sir, I'm sorry. I was wrong.
Man: That was sick.
Turk: But still, if you could do this for me, I would greatly appreciate it. The next time your son has a bowel movement, take the dookie, put it in a Ziplock bag, and just call me on my cell phone. It's for my girlfriend. Hey, Ralphie. Little men, pushing it out, pushing it out.

Quote from Nurse Roberts

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, are you off for the day?
Elliot: Oh, I just didn't have a place to change.
Nurse Roberts: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I'm going to pretend you're not wearing that.
Nurse Roberts: Don't you usually wait to get home before you do that?

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: Thanks for the pen.
J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: Yeah, this was my favorite T-shirt. And this is my favorite skin.