Turk Quote #119
Turk: This is the reason why your headache didn't go away. That's actually pronounced analgesic, not "anal"-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.
Quote from J.D.
Janitor: Yep, we got him. And he's gonna pay.
J.D.: They're actually arresting him for stealing pudding and toilet paper?
Janitor: No, they found 20 bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. Did you steal pudding and toilet paper?
J.D.: What? No! I hate pudding and I don't use toilet paper. I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
J.D.: Bidet to you, sir.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Look, morning sickness sucks. Believe me, I know. I've been there. Hey, Jordan, are you- Are you crying?
Jordan: No. I don't know. I'm just completely hormonal. I mean, you try going from out-of-control horny to clinically depressed six times a day.
Dr. Cox: Give me a break. I can knock that out on the way to work.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Don't be angry at Bambi.
Dr. Cox: I'm not angry. So my girlfriend serviced most of the staff, I'm proud of her commitment to medicine.
Carla: Please. What about the women you've slept with? Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife-
Dr. Cox: Would you please get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
Dr. Cox: Dammit. Gosh, now I'm too proud of you to be mad at you.