Janitor Quote #350
Quote from Janitor in My Scrubs
Carla: Turk! You know I hate that damn dog.
Janitor: No, it's not bald, black doctor. It's haired, half-white, half-Inuit janitor. And this is the real Rowdy.
Carla: Excuse me?!
Janitor: You recall that a couple of years ago you lost him? You were panicked that your husband was gonna find out, so I sold my entire stuffed squirrel army, in exchange for Steven, an exact replica. What you don't know is that I retraced your steps that day, and I found Rowdy. Now I think, if your husband knew that he'd been loving a fake dead dog all this time, he'd be very unhappy.
Carla: You're a crazy person.
Janitor: Am I?! Or am I a brilliant mastermind who's waited two long years until he needed something from you?! And now that day has come. Here's what I want. I want your baby. We already talked about that. I want you to tell that new borderline anorexic nurse to eat a sandwich. And then to go salsa dancing with me. Also, I want you to teach me the salsa dance. I want a pound of frankincense, mostly just to see what it is. And lastly, I'm in a little bit of a tiff with the main barista, down at CoffeeBucks, he's not above poisoning me, so I'm gonna need you to be my official beverage tester, yes?
Carla: I'm just gonna confess everything to Turk. Hmm.
Janitor: [growls] No, easy boy. We'll get her.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Scrubs’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Nothing ever changes. The artist formerly known as Prince is still just Prince. My ex-wife is still pretty much my wife. Grey's Anatomy always reps up every episode some cheesy voiceover that ties together all of the story lines, which incidentally is my least favorite device on television. Newbie continually will try to violate my no-touching policy. [looks around] Uh-huh. And Republicans will forever try to raise-
J.D.: Sneak hug!
Dr. Cox: Of course, I would go kill him right now but he actually just helped to prove my point.
Nurse Roberts: This is gonna help, too. There are ten orders of Percocet missing from the pharmacy.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea who I'm gonna give my complementary urine test to! [whistles at Mr. Thompson]
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Turkleton, I want you to take good care of my friend Maggie here. Don't worry, we'll take care of you.
Carla: Name and insurance, please?
Maggie: Maggie Kent, and none.
Carla: All right, let's find a room.
J.D.: [v.o.] When a patient doesn't have any insurance you have to work around the system. First you have to find someone who's recently died.
J.D.: Cool! Mr. Rabinowitz just kicked it. [to Maggie] Oh, don't worry. He put his peep in an electrical socket.
You can't do that.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Ted, look at this budget. Oh, God, I have half a mind to make you pay for every cent of that new transformer.
Ted: I'm telling you, sir. A lifeless ghost dog glided in front of my car wearing roller-skates. [pops pill]
Dr. Kelso: If this is your way of trying to make me feel guilty about paving over that Indian burial ground, it isn't going to work. We needed the damn parking spaces.