Elliot Quote #343
Quote from Elliot in My Lips Are Sealed
Elliot: You're coming in because you need to set an example of professionalism, and you're certainly not going to do that by making fun of that man's slinky-doo.
Dr. Kelso: Don't pull me. I'm your boss, for God's- Hello.
Elliot: Well, Mr. Gerst, your situation doesn't seem to be reversing itself, So I think we're gonna need to schedule a procedure to relieve the, uh...
Dr. Kelso: Woodiness.
Mr. Gerst: My fiance is only 24, and she said she wanted to do something special this morning. Turns out she just meant having breakfast with her family. [Elliot stifles laughter] Those pills didn't really kick in until just about the moment I'm introduced to her 90-year-old grandmother. [Elliot stifles laughter] And sure enough, that little lady gives me the waist hug from her wheelchair.
Elliot: Excuse me, I need that chart.
Dr. Kelso: Sweetheart, it's not healthy to hold it in. Just let it out. You know you want to.
Elliot: I'm fine.
Mr. Gerst: I pulled away from that encounter with all of Grandma Helen's breathing apparatus.
Elliot: [bursts out laughing]
Dr. Kelso: My work here is done.
Elliot: Oh, my God, I can't stop! I'm sorry. I have to pee.
Features in the collection: Elliot Reid: The Bajingo Monologues.
Scrubs Quotes
‘Elliot Reid: The Bajingo Monologues’
Quote from Elliot in My Dirty Secret
Dr. Kelso: Next contestant, Dr. Reid.
Elliot: Mr. Murdock was admitted with a COPD exacerbation; he responded well to antibiotics and bronchial dilators but he did develop a rash on his, um... private area.
Dr. Kelso: Sorry, on his what?
Elliot: His peepers.
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me?
Elliot: His schwing-schwong.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, it's bad enough you run out on a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam. But you are a doctor, and you need to be able to say simple clinical words like "penis," or "vagina," or "anal."
Elliot: "Anal" is not a dirty word, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Tell that to my wife.
Quote from Elliot in My New God
Elliot: You can talk to me if you want.
Turk: Elliot, I can't talk to you about sex. I don't understand that crazy gibberish you use. Penis is schwing-something.
Elliot: Schwing-schwong, peepers or peep.
Turk: And vagina is...
Elliot: Disgusting, but also bajingo or hoo-hoo.
Turk: Here's the deal. I'm trying to get in the mood, right? And Carla's going on and on about her cervical mucus.
Elliot: Ah-ah, b-b-but, mm-mmm. From now on, [quietly] cervical mucus will be referred to as "icky sticky."
Turk: Icky sticky.
‘My Lips Are Sealed’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Elderly Woman: What a sweet little angel. Can I just give him a little squeeze?
Jordan: Of course.
Dr. Cox: Back off there, lady. How's about you save up all that energy for the cruise? Go on, get out of here. [whistles] Hippity-hop to the barber shop. Come on, mom. Jordan, this hospital is literally crawling with germs and disease, and in all fairness, you don't know if that lady is a sickie or if she was here visiting a sickie and she ran her sickie hands all over her sickie face.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Jordan: I normally never let people touch him.
Janitor: Oh, really? Because these photographs would beg to differ. Old lady kissing Jack, teenage girl hugging Jack, homeless man holding Jack.
Dr. Cox: Jordan!
Jordan: It's just Carl. He holds Jack when I get a bikini wax.
Jordan: What's the matter with me? I mean, I don't think twice about people holding him, and yet I obsess about things like broken arms, broken legs, choking, kidnapping, drowning, silly putty, bad babysitters, pretty babysitters.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I pretty much freak out over staph infections, blood disease, mumps, measles, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, and definitely all registered Independents, so I think between us we've got it covered.
Quote from Janitor
Girl: Giant man, why are you making that noise?
Janitor: Oh. Well, because my camera doesn't make a real sound, and it's more fun that way. See? You go... [imitates camera click] Look happy. [imitates camera click] Look sad. [imitates camera click] Look crazy. [imitates camera click] Look like you're going away.