J.D. Quote #478

Quote from J.D. in My Brother, Where Art Thou?

J.D.: [v.o.] As a doctor, it's important to know how to make small talk.
J.D.: Mr. Bober, what would you like with your turkey sandwich?
Mr. Bober: Pickles!
J.D.: [v.o.] Of course, it's harder if your patient suffers from dementia and can only say one word.
J.D.: And to drink?
Mr. Bober: Pickles!
J.D.: [v.o.] And now, for a thousand dollars and this bag of IV fluid, which is guaranteed to make you feel like you're a hundred and ninety again. What did Peter Piper pick a peck of?
Mr. Bober: Pickles.
J.D.: Ooh! I'm sorry, Mr. Bober! The correct answer is peppers. "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers."
Dr. Cox: Newbie! Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient!?
J.D.: Yes.
Dr. Cox: I've never felt closer to you.

Rate

 ‘My Brother, Where Art Thou?’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: But see, this is just exactly what's wrong with the whole system. The nursing home "doctors" unload this gomer on us because they're unable to treat him. So, we get his temperature below a hundred, and then turf him right back to the good people at "Next Stop, Heaven", where, in between mounting wheelchair productions of "Anything Goes" and robbing the poor old bastards blind, they bounce him right back to us!
J.D.: Well, on the plus side, his temperature's 99.9, so sayonara, Mr. Bober.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I could just give you a hug! Of course, I never would! I could, but I never would, God save me! I never would.

Quote from Ted

Carla: Okay, I paged Dr. Kelso. Do you feel confident about this, Ted?
Ted: I'm not sure. I don't know what confidence feels like.

 John J.D. Dorian Quotes

Quote from My Missed Perception

Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.
Dr. Cox: [groans]
Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange man, aren't you?
J.D.: I was a preemie.

Quote from My Long Goodbye

Dr. Cox: What the hell am I gonna do?
J.D.: [v.o.] Unfortunately for Dr. Cox, that's when Elliot walked by and showcased her oddest talent.
Elliot: Somebody just had a baby.
Dr. Cox: How do you know?
[fantasy:]
Elliot: My uterus is glowing.
J.D.: My mom had an uterus. I lived in it.