Dr. Cox: But see, this is just exactly what's wrong with the whole system. The nursing home "doctors" unload this gomer on us because they're unable to treat him. So, we get his temperature below a hundred, and then turf him right back to the good people at "Next Stop, Heaven", where, in between mounting wheelchair productions of "Anything Goes" and robbing the poor old bastards blind, they bounce him right back to us!
J.D.: Well, on the plus side, his temperature's 99.9, so sayonara, Mr. Bober.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I could just give you a hug! Of course, I never would! I could, but I never would, God save me! I never would.

Turk: Besides, why aren't you at home, apologizing to your brother before he takes off?
J.D.: Turk, you don't get it, man. Your family was there for you.
Turk: You know, I love how kids of divorce really have the market cornered on family dysfunction. But let me share with you a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household: It starts with my mother yelling at my sister for yelling at my grandmother who's yelling at the television screen, which happens to be the microwave. And then my militant brother Jabari - formerly Bob - gives my father attitude for using the word "black", even though he's referring to the turkey. Which, by the way, only got burnt because instead of turning the oven off, my bi-polar aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it. But you know what we do? We kiss and we hug and we apologize for all the things we said, 'cause a month later, we gonna get together and do it again at Christmas! Now check the ball, cracker.

J.D.: [v.o.] As a doctor, it's important to know how to make small talk.
J.D.: Mr. Bober, what would you like with your turkey sandwich?
Mr. Bober: Pickles!
J.D.: [v.o.] Of course, it's harder if your patient suffers from dementia and can only say one word.
J.D.: And to drink?
Mr. Bober: Pickles!
J.D.: [v.o.] And now, for a thousand dollars and this bag of IV fluid, which is guaranteed to make you feel like you're a hundred and ninety again. What did Peter Piper pick a peck of?
Mr. Bober: Pickles.
J.D.: Ooh! I'm sorry, Mr. Bober! The correct answer is peppers. "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers."
Dr. Cox: Newbie! Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient!?
J.D.: Yes.
Dr. Cox: I've never felt closer to you.