Turk Quote #82

Quote from Turk in My Old Man

Margaret Turk: Carla. It's a nice name.
Carla: Thank you.
Turk: Yes, it is, Mother.
Margaret Turk: Oh, please. Not telling me about her. Dear, do me a favor. Don't give him any for a month or so.
Carla: Done.
Turk: No, it can't go down like that. It just can't go down like that.

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‘My Old Man’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: My dad flaked on me again.
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. Um, you're not on drugs, are you?
J.D.: What? No.
Dr. Cox: Are you in jail? Have you been beaten? Are you malnourished?
J.D.: I skipped lunch, but I've been snacking all day.
Dr. Cox: You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy 26-year-old doctor who keeps crying about how horrible his father was.
J.D.: Well, he did some considerable emotional damage, so...
Dr. Cox: Every one of our parents does considerable emotional damage. And from what I've heard, it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if some guy ever does put a ring on your finger, and you're lucky enough to pop out a youngster, I'm sure you'll understand. But for now, trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't care if today was the first time you ever even met your daddy. Because in reality, well, he could've done a much, much worse job, okay.

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: Can I help you, sir? Sir?
Janitor's Father: You can help me by minding your own damn business.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Janitor's Father: Oh, aggressive, huh? Do you really want to get it on with me, pipsqueak? Because if you do, I guarantee it'll be the last stupid thing you ever do on God's green earth.
J.D.: Nice meeting you.
J.D.: [v.o.] What the hell was that all about?
Janitor: Dad, don't wander off like that.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: Great job at rounds today, Dr. Reid.
Elliot: Thank you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Your dad must've been very impressed.
Elliot: Yeah, I think so. I could tell that he respected you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's very nice, but lucky for me, my self-esteem isn't tied up in that kind of poppycock. You see, I didn't become a doctor to impress my daddy or anyone else. I did it for me. I've seen lots of doctors get into this for the wrong reason. You know what happens to them?
Elliot: No.
Dr. Kelso: They quit and get their real estate licence. You look upset, sweetheart. You shouldn't be. I think you'd look super in a gold blazer.
Elliot: Thank you.
Dr. Kelso: This is almost too easy.

Turk Quotes

Quote from My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from My Life in Four Cameras

Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?

Quote from My Fault

Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
Turk: Where are you going? To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes? I'mma call Jesse! And we gonna march on your ass! [licks frosting] Mm.