Roland: And obviously you're coming to me for a little star power. I get it. It'd be good to have a name there tonight.
Alexis: No. No. You're the crow hook-up. I wanted to create like a headline-grabbing moment where I release a bunch of crows just before the movie starts.
Roland: Uh, excuse me, it's a little late notice.
Ronnie: What about the liquor license? 'Cause I assuming people are gonna wanna be drinking through this thing.

Johnny: Ah! Boy, it's times like this I really miss having you around, Stevie.
Stevie: Well, um, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, Mr. Rose. Um, you know how you told me to take some time and figure out what made me happy? Well, I think I have settled on something.
Johnny: Is it Larry Air? 'Cause they called me for a reference, and also asked if I had any interest in becoming a pilot.

Patrick: Morning, sunshine.
David: Mm. It's 5 pm. But good morning.
Patrick: I really don't remember how I got into this bed.
David: I do. You were... talking. A lot.
Patrick: Uh-oh. What was I saying?
David: Well, the conversation really ran the gamut. You complimented my flawless skin and called me the Jewish Channing Tatum, which all tracks. But then you told me you wanted us to have a baby.
Patrick: [laughs] What else did I say?
David: I put you to sleep after that.

Patrick: Um... Can you grab me those painkillers, please? I think I'm gonna need a few of them if we're still planning on making it to your mom's thing tonight.
David: Okay, that's actually a very good idea. I might take one myself. Apparently the first 15 minutes are very, very dense.

Johnny: Well, break a leg, sweetheart. I'll be right here... 10 feet behind you.
Moira: No, John, tonight is special, and I'd like my hand-candy by my side.

Alexis: So the crows are ready. You just say a few words, and then give Carmine the signal.
Moira: Alexis, Mommy's home now. I'll take it from here. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to welcome you to a North American screening of... the psychological thriller...
Alexis: Move it along.
Moira: "The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening!" [crowd applauds] Let the crowening commence!

Johnny: It sorta looks like people are running away from your movie, Moira.
Moira: You! Look what you have done!
Alexis: Look what I've done? This was your idea, and now I have to pay Ronnie for damage to her carpet!
David: What were the crows even doing there in the first place?
Alexis: It's called an immersive experience, David!
David: Immersed in lawsuits maybe.
Moira: Alexis, make it stop!

Alexis: As your publicist, it is my job to optimize a branded approach to real-time engagement with your fan-base through contextual marketing.
Moira: I hope I'm not paying you by the word.
Alexis: Which is why I came up with the ideation for the following idea.
Moira: "Crows." "Movie." "Premiere?!"
David: They're doing a premiere? I thought it was streaming on Interflix?
Moira: Where are they thinking? LA? New York? London might be central for the Bosnian team.
Alexis: No, they're not doing a premiere.
Moira: Alexis, your flip-chart says "premiere."

David: Good luck though.
Alexis: Lick rust! Thank you!

Patrick: Can't thank you enough for driving today, Stevie. I don't know what is going on with my car.
David: I do. It's a death trap that needs to be set on fire and pushed off a cliff.