David: Honestly? Nothing is more natural... Um, aside from maybe the thread count in these sheets, but that's okay! 'Cause you're a woman now! Um, and nothing about that is embarrassing.
Mandy: [o.s.] I'm not embarrassed, I'm scared! I mean, you were talking so much about your high thread count linens.
David: Yeah. Well, I think it's gonna come out.
Mandy: And how they were made by Egyptians or something?
David: No, I'm well aware of that.

Moira: Needless to say, that was the last time I played charades with Fran Leibovitz.

Wendy: Listen, let me give you some cash for that. I don't think that expense card is long for this world.
David: Mm, okay. It's just I have, um, four more taxidermy peacocks coming this afternoon.
Wendy: Oh, I can pay cash for those. That's fine.

Alexis: Anyway, I'm actually really looking forward to this.
David: You look like a stick of gum.
Alexis: Like what? David!

Moira: Ronnie, hello you! You're looking well today! New khakis I see. Are you enjoying your coffee?
Ronnie: I was.

Ronnie: What makes you think I'd vote for you?
Moira: You are a sensible woman, Ronnie, and you speak your mind. I- I can feel your frustration with Roland. Now imagine his wife on council, strengthening his agenda-
Ronnie: And?
Moira: And, were I on council, I could support your agenda. We could support each other's agendas.
Ronnie: Well, I don't hate what you're saying, so here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna invite some of my girl friends over and if you can get on the good side of these women, let's just say you'd be locking down a key demographic.
Moira: It's a date.
Ronnie: No. No, it's not. I wouldn't call it that.

Ted: So how's the filing coming?
Alexis: I have been swamped. Doris's cat is like totally high maintenance.
Ted: Yeah, well, Doris has been worried about her cat for two years. She comes in every week.
Alexis: Okay, well, what am I supposed to do? Poor thing is like desperate for a man.
Ted: And, uh, why are there three calls on hold?
Alexis: Um, I don't know. Someone hung up?

David: I just wanted to let you know that we just sold one of the leather ponchos.
Wendy: Oh, we're selling leather ponchos now? Well, that doesn't sound cheap.
David: No, it's not, which is why it's so exciting that we just sold one.

Alexis: Hey, I was thinking about what you said yesterday and, um, I think-
Ted: Now is not a good time.
Alexis: Okay. Um, how are things with Mittens?
Ted: Uh, he- He's dead.
Alexis: Ew!

David: Um, do you have any like DVDs or like a dusty old board game I could borrow?
Stevie: Oh, usually we reserve those for our platinum members.
David: Mmm-hmm.
Stevie: Oh, but I do have a Rummoli box filled with puzzle pieces on the shelf there.
David: Sounds like something you'd find at a serial killer's house.