Stevie: Yeah, you're gonna have to talk to Roland about that. He lives just down the street, you make a left out of the motel and then another left. It's a house with a truck in the driveway. There's a bumper sticker of a naked Helen Mirren.

Johnny: That's the least of my concerns right now!
Roland: Oh really? Well, why don't we address your concerns?!
Johnny: The doors! I want my doors back!
Roland: Oh!
Johnny: Before it gets dark! My son is afraid of moths.

David: What just happened?!
Moira: David, I politely asked that concierge girl if she had stolen my earrings, and she turned ice cold, and now she's on her way to a pawn shop!
David: What?! I need a towel!

Johnny: Kids, we just came in to say good night, and to remind you that we will get through this-
David: Okay, good night!
Johnny: As a family-
David: Warmest regards to you both.
Johnny: And that will end up on our feet in no time!
Moira: Of course, by then our feet will be shoeless, and filthy and mangled, from walking on cigarette butts and broken beer bottles.

Moira: Please, someone just give me a key, to a door, to a room, any room! I just want a bathtub, and a long extension cord, please.

Moira: The world is falling apart around us John, and I'm dying inside.
Johnny: Well, I'm feeling a little queasy myself.

Alexis: [on the phone] The whole time I was surrounded by old women wearing visors, who smelled like yams! There was nowhere to lie down! There was nowhere to lie down, there was no bed! There was no kitchen. I know! No. I don't know what to tell you, there's like, cows all over the place, like, everywhere. I don't know if there's even a station, I don't know what's happening!

Johnny: Oh, this is my family, my son-
Roland: Let's get you all squared away in the office there, Johnny, okay, the gals can grab the bags, you follow me, all right, right this way, watch it, honey, here we come.

Alexis: David, what are we-
David: Shut up!
Alexis: You shut up!
David: You shut up!
Alexis: Um, you shut up!
David: You shhhut up!

Johnny: The name is Rose.
Stevie: I don't see a reservation under that name.
Roland: It's okay, Stevie, I set aside two rooms for them.
Stevie: Well, there's nothing here.
Roland: Well okay, fine, just book 'em in with two rooms, these people own the town; They're big deals.
Moira: We'll need three rooms, minimum.
Roland: Ooh, no can do, honey. Look, we have a one room comp policy here, and I am personally throwing in an extra room out of sheer decency, so...